The Tao of Koyou...

In Japan, koyou, or autumn colours viewing, is a huge thing. Millions of people take time to visit temples, shrines, parks and other places where trees are to behold the beauty of nature. The most famous and beloved leaves are the momoji, maple leaves. They are also my favourite. Fall is quite spectacular in Japan and it makes me a little sad to think that this will be my last one here. But then again, with winter being right around the corner, those feelings are normally short-lived.


On Saturday, Dave and I drove to the nearby town of Tanigumi and walked around in a beautiful temple complex, probably one of my favourites in Japan. Naturally, there were tons of people around, but I still managed to get some good shots with my new and fab camera, the Canon IXY 800IS. It's the newer model of the camera I wanted to buy (as mentioned in my previous post), but it's a beaut. I've been taking pictures like a fiend and I'm loving my new best friend. But I digress.


Before heading to Tanigumi, we stopped at a tree that looked like it was on fire. It was that red. It's the last tree in this series, and it's also the one I'm posing under by myself. I've been wanting to shoot it for a while and I was lucky enough that I got some pics before all the trees got naked for the winter.



We've been really lucky this autumn. The temperatures have been mild save for the last week or so, but the sights have been spectacular. I recommend that anyone come to Japan between October and November. This will definitely be a season that I won't forget anytime soon.







This is my village.

Deer and the City...

Dave and I escaped to Nara this past weekend and it was a blast. We frolicked with the deer that roam free in this old capital city, did the whole place on foot and found a beautiful restaurant and enjoyed a traditional Japanese meal. Since we decided on this trip a while ago, there was a smidge of anticipation in the air as this wasn't a run of the mill getaway. And luckily, everything worked out even though we were in the car together for a total of eight hours (round trip). All I can say is that I'm a really lucky woman and have so much to be thankful for...I can tell you without doubt that my handsome Scotsman deserves a lot of the credit...

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Anyway, as I mentioned, Dave and I went to Nara by car. It was our first time driving to a prefecture some distance away, and while it's entirely do-able, it's retardedly expensive to use the expressways here. I've been on toll roads in the States, but driving, like everything in Japan, is tough on the pocket books. One way to Nara from Gifu cost about 4500 yen, about $45, and while this isn't a lot of money, especially divided by two, it's the principle of the thing. It's our car, with our gas (well, this time both were Dave's), and we're using them to travel to another prefecture to spend money on a hotels food and souvenirs, and we gotta pay to use the roads to get there??? But there is an expression that I bust out a lot here in Japan and it's "shougenai", it cannot be helped. It's not such a bitter pill to swallow, just a bit confusing and irritating at most. It's especially annoying when you get on an expressway by mistake, but you live and learn. Moving on...While Dave was the driver, I was given no choice but to be the navigator. Now, navigating and the like is not my strong suit (I get confused in malls), but we made it to Nara (driving through Gifu, Aichi, Shiga and Kyoto) with few screw ups. As my partner in crime said, my navigational skills were adequate (hell, I'll take that as a compliment).

Driving during this time of year is breathtaking. Actually, doing anything that makes use of your eyes is beautiful right now. The trees and hills are pretty much on fire and I've been dying because I'm without a workable camera right now (all this will change soon), but I just step back, behold the sights and just say wow...

After checking into our ryokan (a traditional Japanese inn), we explored the sights, which sadly I do not have any pictures of. Dave was the cameraman and I haven't yet had the chance to steal all the pics from him. While I've been to Nara before (4 years ago on my first trip to Japan with the beautiful and talented Cheryl - whu whu!!), the city is still impressive to me. There was a beautiful pond near our hotel and the nearby 5 story pagoda was reflected in the water. We explored a bit of the Todai-ji complex and the Ni-gatsu shrine that was absolutely beautiful. It was overlooking the whole city which was gently being blanketed by soft drops of rain. Old school, unadulterated romance. We met some deer and to the delight of my traveling companion, he fed them senbai crackers and they couldn't get enough. He was headbutted, chomped on and surrounded but was beside himself with delight. Since I had been swarmed last time, I kept out of the fracas and got some good pics of him. There were temples and shrines galore, but since we had arrived a bit late, we decided to save the realy touristy stuff until the next day. Instead, we walked to the downtown area and Naramachi and just took it all in. We found a kickass souvenir shop and I was so good. Just bought the minimum of crap, including something for my surrogate mom. Pat on the back for me. We walked up and down streets with our huge golf umbrella shielding us and stumbled across the perfect Japanese restaurant. It looked good from the outside and the inside did not disappoint. There was a beautiful garden enclosed in the restaurant and we couldn't get over the atmosphere. The food was really good too - all tempura, unagi (eel), sashimi, rice, soup, pickled veggies and chawan mushi (this eggy-meaty concoction). I had warm sake and basked in the glow.

The next day, we went back to Todai-ji and I was again amazed by the autumn foliage. Reds, oranges, greens...Fall is absolutely my most favourite season and this year's Fall seems even better than last year. Everyone who owned a camera was out there taking pics of the trees making nearly impossible to get a pic without people. But we got lucky.

We went to the Daibutsu(Buddha)-den and stood in the shadow of Buddha. It's a large one and there is a pole with a hole in it that is said to be the same size as one of this Buddha's nostrils. Apparently, those who are able to make there way through the aperture is promised enlightment. Now, 4 years ago, I stood by and watched scores of schoolchildren wiggle their way through thinking "I could do that! I could fit!" But as a shy foreigner, I couldn't bear to imagine getting stuck and having the fire department called to extricate me. Well, that was then, this is now:

Due to the fact Dave couldn't get any good shots of me, I opted to be enlightened twice (one for me, one for him) and went through the hole again. The shot of me emerging is a tad blurry, but watchagonnado? As I pulled my thank-god-it-fits-frame out, the numerous Japanese folks who were milling around burst into applause. I was so embarrassed but I was thrilled that I faced my fear and came out a winner. My heart was beating like a drum and I loved it.

All and all it was a fantastic trip and encourage anyone living or visiting here to take some time out and explore Nara.

*******************************************************************************
Due to my much bitched about camera woes, I'm biting the bullet, dropping some yen and getting myself a new camera this weekend. I was so angry over the fact that my 16 month old camera stopped focusing that I sent an email, a nasty one, to the now defunct camera, Konica Minolta. I got the standard "we can't give a crap even if we tried really, really hard" email, so I'll use this forum to eloquently make my point: FUCK YOU, KONICA MINOLTA!

This is what I hope to own in a couple of days:














You can read the reviews here: http://reviews.cnet.com/Canon_PowerShot_SD700_IS/4505-6501_7-31740585.html I've read the professional reviews (www.dprevew.com had an excellent summary - it pretty made up my mind) and talked to owners and buyers of this sexy little number, and I'm so hot for it, I'm about to explode. Ooooooooh, yeah.

Hmmm, what else is new...I went to a Thanksgiving Party last night thrown by the fabulous Chisako-san, the doll class teacher. About 30 folks came bearing food (my contribution was banana bread) and I ate till I wanted to sleep. No pics, but good memories.

I'm addicted to this blog: http://www.glamour.com/sexmen/blogs/alyssa/ The writer is a chick who has put all of her dating life out there and she gets props for having some king kong balls. I had only one class today and spent HOURS reading all of the archival postings. She's on my favourites list. It's not something I would do, well, without a proper pseudonym and some liquid courage, but she gets respect.

Someone who most definitely doesn't get respect is Kanye West and Michael "Kramer" Richards. Kanye was recently quoted as referring to women of mixed race as "mutts" and "Kramer" went on a racist tirade during a comedy act. WTF, bitches, seriously, WTF??? Kanye rubs me the wrong way a lot because his ego has gotten bigger than his brain and now it's all about the bling and flossin'. Kanye, you get the nuts. And "Kramer", tsk, tsk, "Kramer". How the mighty have fallen...it makes you wonder what's really going on inside someone's head. At first, I was pissed. Seriously, he was saying some shit about Black people getting lynched and that if wasn't for White people, we'd be this and that, and his repeated use of the N-word. Was he on crack??? Oooh, I'm starting to burn again. Relax, relate, release...But yeah, "Kramer" gets bummed without Vaseline.

Anyway, it's the weekend and I'm out like bell bottoms in a few...I'm going to try to post on a weekly basis (minimum) from now on. Life in Japan is rolling by and I want to document as much as a can. Stay classy, people.

Ahh, that's the spot...

I spent this week alone for the most part because I just needed to time to get my shit together. I had too many contradictory thoughts vying for my attention. I was confused and suffocating. So I decided to call a time out. I organized myself, read like mad, decided on a couple of action plans at school and in life and tried to still myself. I went grocery shopping and took my time through the aisles. I watched some Lost episodes and got caught deeper into the web on intrigue. I baked chocolate muffins for the first time and cooked some new recipes. I thoroughly cleaned my apartment and addressed the mildew problem in my shower. I realized (yet again) that I was hemorrhaging money and put pen to paper and created a budget for myself. I'm still going to have fun during my remaining months here but that will mean I'll have to make some hard decisions. I called home. I spoke to some good friends. I wished my godson a happy first birthday. I went out and tried a new restaurant with my sweetie and we lucked out. Mouth-watering Thai was the comfort food I had been craving.
I went to the doll class and created something beautiful yet again. All mundane tasks, no? For me, they were sanity savers.

**These pics are of my previous doll, the Okinawan. I will post pics of my latest doll, the Geisha, soon.

Remembrance…


When I first came to Japan, I was completely enamoured by the beautiful sights, the warm nature of its inhabitants and the general mystique of the Far East. As I made my way through each day, I encountered novel experiences and everything was an adventure (and sometimes a drama!). But it was good and it was honest because it was new. Now, 15 months later, everything is routine. I know, for the most part, how to communicate well and make myself understood. I’ve made peace with not speaking perfect Japanese and feel comfortable throwing out some nouns, a subject and object here and there, and always, always, ending with a verb. And while others I know seem to have it all, in terms of accessibility to others and the city, and a general joie-de-vivre, I feel that I’m spinning my wheels, particularly at work, and oh, work it has become. Life is really, really good at the elementary school. That’s where I get my joy during my “professional” hours. I love my junior high school students as well, but the vibe there is…stifling and stressful. My JTE stresses me the fuck out. That fact, coupled with a few other personal issues got me pretty down.

So I decided to step back and take time to heal by myself, for myself. Though I am an extrovert, sometimes being with others saps my strength and prevents me from concentrating on me. Now, curiously enough since I leave in relative solitude, I need to be alone. So this week, I’ve done Kaki-centred activities and thinking and I’m working on living my previously-adopted, oft-discarded, but newly-adopted again mantra “one day at a time”. So far, so good. I’m taking a time-out to do some figurative and literal spring (or is it fall?) cleaning and get rid of some clutter. I’ll also have a doll class this Sunday, which I’m really looking forward to. I’ll post some pics of my second doll soon, then a few of my next one.

Anyway, the title of this post is ‘Remembrance’ because I recently remembered what I love about Japan. See, Dave and I went to Kobe and Himeji in Hyogo Prefecture, which were absolutely beautiful, and is where I think the turnaround began. We had a holiday last Friday and Dave and I set out to Himeji first where we encountered possibly the most famous castle (and one of the few that survived through wars) in Japan, Himeji-jo. The throes of Fall had not yet fully descended on this place, but some leaves had turned and burned brightly against the rest of the green landscape. With about 6 floors and tons of sightseers, it took about 2 hours to visit the castle and its grounds.


After we left the castle, we took our time walking through covered shopping arcades (these hideous “pleasure towns” can be found in every Japanese city) and headed back to the station to continue our journey to Kobe.

Upon arrival, we went to our hostel, a really sweet and comfortable place that had the appeal of someone’s home. It only had 5 rooms, 2 with 4 bunk beds, a double room and a triple. There was also an open kitchen with all the amenities, a TV, DVD player and DVDs, a computer with free internet, and guidebooks and novels. I was instantly enamoured. After cleaning ourselves up, we headed to town and Kobe is definitely a place that should be visited. I hope to go there again before I leave. The shopping, the sights, THE FOOD…excuse me while I wipe my drool.

Kobe is quite small and can be done in about a day, or spread out to two if you want to savour it a bit more. We had to get our bearings on the first night, so we walked and walked, looking for an Indian restaurant to satiate our hunger. I turned into a right demon, a very hungry demon, and right before my head was going to spin around on my neck, we found a very lovely Indian place. We took in the bright lights of the city (so beautiful, how I miss them) and headed back to our hostel.

The next day, we started out relatively early and returned to downtown where we found a very charming place that served sandwiches and cakes. I’m not totally in love with sandwiches, but they are, in my opinion, a luxury in Japan. I had a BLT, with real bacon, not ham, and Dave had a sliced chicken sandwich with spicy mayo. Happiness in our mouths. We made our way Nankinmachi (Chinatown) where we took in the smells and hustle and bustle and vowed to eat there later that night.


In 1995, Kobe was the site of a devastating earthquake that killed more than 6000 people and leveled the city. We went to the place where the devastation has been preserved, the Port of Kobe Earthquake Memorial Park. I can’t really describe it, but I felt the power. It was astounding.

We left the park and headed to the Shin-Kobe cable car to ascend to a mountain ridge to behold the city. We walked around Nunobiki Habu-Koen, which is a herb garden.

After doing the majority of the city on foot, we decided to have a Chinese feast. We gorged on Peking Duck (the real deal!!!), sweet and sour pork, fried rice and spring rolls. The price wasn’t as exorbitant as I was led to believe and it was more than worth it. My salivatory (is that a word??) glands have been activated at the sheer thought.

Though we spent just over 24 hours in Kobe, it was enough to help me recover what I had feared to be lost. Unfortunately, not everyday can be a vacation, and as my better half reminded me, this is going to last forever. But once in a while, it is necessary to be remember the beauty of what once was…

Can you believe this ish???

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6086374.stm

In other news, I killed another huge spider today. This time, it was in my shower. It was a scene right out of Psycho. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but I'm looking forward to the snowfall, i.e. the bug genocide that will soon occur. But under no circumstances am I looking foward to the cold, damp temperatures INSIDE my apartment...

The Importance of Being Important...

ALT. Assitant language teacher. Assistant language teacher. That's what I am here in Japan. Some days, usually at the elementary school, I am actually running the show. From conception to design to execution of English communication lessons, I am the boss. Though I am supposed to engage in team teaching with the homeroom teacher at the elementary school, I only do this in 1 out of 6 grades. And that's fine. I like being in charge and having the responsibility. It gives me something to do when normally there would be nothing. I research games, make worksheets and handouts, select the singing music and consult textbooks for inspiration and direction. Most of the time, my lessons are the bomb rather than a bomb. I'll be blunt - English is not the most important, or even an important subject in the curriculum, so after the first few initial months of learning the ropes, I was figuratively, and sometimes literally, on my own. Sometimes, I'm all alone in the classroom (a big no-no), managing the little ones, and I like it better that way. During these times, I'm not an ALT, I'm the language teacher.

This is at the elementary school.

At the junior high school, it's entirely different. My JTE runs the show. He plans everything and leads the classroom, and that's fine, because that's his job. He's a trained English teacher and I'm his assistant, and that's also fine. But what's not fine is how I'm often relegated to the sidelines while he goes over grammar points, vocabulary and verb tenses only in Japanese. I've wasted hours over the past year and a bit just standing there, watching the interaction and trying hard not to daydream lest he chooses to utilize my knowledge and have me join the conversation.

What is difficult for me, and what continues to be a recurring theme in this job is how unimportant I am. I'll admit, I feel somewhat important to the kids and I'm proud with how far I've come with them, and not necessarily in terms of their English skills. And at the end of the day, I know it's what matters the most. But it's that feeling of being useless, of being expendable, that eats away at me.

I think it wouldn't so bad if I wasn't so damn lonely in the day time. The Japanese office culture is SO different than back home. People are perpetually busy and have very little time to do things other than what they're doing (however, I've also seen that the teachers I work with are amazingly inefficient with their time). I do speak to the non-English speakers, but our conversations are so brief due to the language barrier, but it's cool that we at least try. From time to time, I have really good, non-work related conversations with the science teacher and my JTE, and my JTE has apologized for not talking to me more (which was pretty sweet). When we got a new Japanese teacher who is fluent in English, I was so happy and my JTE was like "It's good that you've now got someone to talk to", but she's just as busy as the rest of them. I'm dying to get to know her better, but she's got a job to do so I'm on my own.

I'm not sure if I can adequately explain all of this without sounding like spoiled brat, but it really, really hurts. But I'm thankful for the internet, this blog, my books, the telephone and the weekends. I'm also thankful for those times when I feel useful, like I'm a real part of the team. Last week, all the other teachers were busy so my surrogate dad asked me to take a group of 10 first-graders (7 year olds) to the bus stop and wait for their buses to arrive. That was the first time it had happened and I had several little heart attacks during the 20 minutes we were waiting by the road, but it all went off without a hitch. They got on their buses, each yelling "Sayonara, Kaki-sensei" and I yelled back, waving and calling out each of their names. For me, this was a big something, out of a day filled with a whole lot of nothing.

I'll be handing in my recontracting papers next week when I have a free moment to to discuss it with my JTE. The NO box will be firmly checked. I was going to wait until the new year, but there's no point. I'm not going to change my mind. I was going to hang on to them , just in case, but no matter what happens, I'll have to leave. While I believe that work is something you do in order to live, I need to feel like I'm worth something, like I'm earning my pay. Like I'm important.

So frustrated...

I've been feeling a little restricted for a little while which has led me to feeling frustrated with living in Japan in general, and Gifu in particular. Don't get me wrong: living in the country has given me a sense of relaxation and peace that have been elusive for the past few years, but sometimes, it's just not enough. And particularly on the weekends. Back home, there'd be a multitude of places to go and things to see every day of the week, and while I spent quite a bit of the past year exploring and traveling, a newly enforced budget and a desire to stay a little closer to home has made for more weekends in either tiny Neo, or Dave's larger town, Ena. This is nice, but sometimes you just want to just go somewhere that doesn't take an hour to get to. Or sometimes you just want to see something that isn't just fully about Japanese culture. You know - maybe a play or an art exhibit or something from another part of the world. Luckily, on Saturday, the crew and I went to Nagoya (over an hour away) to have dinner at a Brazilian restaurant, Nova Urbana.

In Montreal, I started a little dinner club with my closest girlfriends and we christened ourselves Dining Divas. We met once every month and laughed, got ourselves up-to-date with each others lives, exchanged cute little $5 gifts, and dined on delicious meals and drank copious amounts of wine. I really miss those times, and with such crazy schedules with my friends here, I decided to make a Japanese edition (without the $5 gifts).

So on Saturday, Fab Food Fiends (FFF) had our first dinner and I think it was a success. While the meat distribution was pretty disappointing (like 3 or 4 small pieces of incredibly delicious meats), there was live music (by a bonafide Brazilian band) and live dancing (including some Capoeira - Dave and Ethan, remember that god awful movie Monkey brought over one year when we went up north? Yeah, it was kinda like that, but with a Japanese chick in a low cut shirt and ass pants, and no blood), spending time with close friends was pretty sweet. And for a very brief time, I felt like I wasn't in Japan.

I'm in the mood to vent, so I'm going to fire off a few things that have been frustrating me. Here goes:

• The high cost of everything, particularly fruits and vegetables. I've been here for over a year and I still get major sticker shock at the shops. I've got my mom's voice in my head saying "Oh hell no am I paying that much for mangos!" It also makes window shopping not fun at all. I bought 8 apples today because I thought I should treat myself. Unfortunately, it cost me nearly $7. One day, a co-worker told me Japanese fruits cost so much because they taste better than those found in Western countries. I looked at her sideways. You know what was going on in my head: Does KN gotta choke a bitch?
• Japanese TV. An exercise in banality, stupidity and horrid WTF-ness. I've seen too many shows featuring Pan-kun, a chimpanzee forced to wear clothing and participate in an array of humiliating tasks. Where is PETA?
• Horrendous clothing. Slouch socks. Ass shorts. Jeans with part of the thigh cut out and a garter belt in its place. Bride of Frankenstein hair. Obviously too tight/too big/too uncomfortable shoes. And people have the nerve to stare at me. I can't change my skin colour. But you can definitely change your stupid outfit.
• Ridiculous driving techniques. Arbitrary use of hazards and stopping on one lane highways.
• People who don't slow down when speaking to you when it's obvious you aren't getting what they are saying, even when you ask them to slow down.
• Katakana English. I-ee hay-tu ee-tu. If you had to read that 4 times to get it, welcome to my world.
• Losing my English, to the point where I make mistakes teaching English to my students.
• Not having a decent selection of English books close by. I've kissed my Amazon privileges goodbye for the sake of leaving Japan with no debt.
• A lack of delcious, non-Japanese food. I'm an amateur foodie. Food matters to me. I like fusion and all, but not when the the common denominator of the cuisine is Japanese. I can think of 3.5 restaurant dining experiences here where I've nearly wet myself from having food-gasms. That ain't enough.
• People, not everything is sugoi (awesome), kawaii (cute), or omoshiroii (interesting or fun). Get some new adjectives..

Bien, maintenant je suis fatiguee. Ah oui, je manque le francais. C'est une peu d'une surprise pour moi, specialement que je suis anglophone. Mais franchement, je pense que je besoin un peu de variete, un peu de excitement. A ce moment, tout est tres...boring. Je suis desolee pour le mauvais francais et le manque des accents...

It was a good day...

I had a really good Saturday this past weekend. Dave and I woke up early to start our respective days - I was heading to my first washi ningyo (Japanese paper doll) making class in Seki and Lord Blackwood was off to play paintball in Mie-ken with a bunch of socialites from the Gifu/Seino areas. I was pretty stoked at the prospect of doing some bonafide Japanese arts and crafts and set out in my car to make the 1 hour drive. The class lived up to my expectations and then some. A gang of rag tag gaikokujin (foreigners) descended upon the home of the very amiable Chisako-san, a radiant Japanese woman who has been teaching doll classes, mostly to foreigners in English, for about 5 years. One look around her war room, and it's obvious that she is a master in the way of the doll. There were five students in total and she helped us create dolls as beautiful and unique as each of us. The doll I made was called the Temari, which translates to a ball wound tightly with colourful threads, which is what my doll is holding. It took us about 3 hours to make our masterpieces (made entirely out of paper) and we stopped about three-quarters through to break for lunch. We headed to a nearby Italian restaurant that had real bread to dip in real olive oil and I was in heaven. The pasta was pretty Japanesey, as was the dessert, but the bread, oh the bread, how it made up for it.

The class itself was definitely pleasurable for me. I'm not a very crafty girl, though I knit as a hobby and can be creative when inspired, so this was a real treat for me. Already, I feel that washi ningyo making will be a definite highlight of my time in Japan and I intend of making Chisako-san's class a priority for me.

Saturday was also a good day because I saw a battalion of monkeys in a field. It was awe-some. At first, as I was passing by, I thought they were statues because they seemed to be frozen, but I quickly realized they were in fact quite alive, so I reversed on the 1 lane road, stopped my car and put my hazards on and stared in wonder and amusement. I also cursed myself for not having my camera with me. BLAST! I took a few crappy pics on my cell phone camera, but they were less than inspiring. I learned a very good lesson that day - always have my camera on me.

Later on in the day, I hooked up with the crew and inspected their gruesome bruises from paintball. D-dawg had a particularly nasty one on his stomach, but unfortunately, I didn't think to pick up my camera to capture the heinous wound. I also didn't think to document a particularly hair-raising experience on Friday night. After I returned home from a welcome/goodbye enkai (party), I was getting to take a shower when I noticed something black and very fast zip by. Since I had just taken off my glasses, I was as blind as a field mouse so ran to my bedroom to get my specs. Armed with vision, I cast my eyes in the direction of where the thing ran to. To my shock and horror. I recognized the intruder to be a spider. A large, large spider. I screamed and hacked, yelling for David to come and save me from the beast. After much screaming, jumping up and down on the bed, near tears and a couple of false hits, my hero slayed the arachnid and deftly cleaned up the carcass and its entrails from my tatami mat*. It took me some time to recover from this incident, but I'm on the mend as I valiantly slept in my bed last night.

Since I've realized that I've been slacking on taking photos, I will be more consistant with photographing everything from the mundane to the exciting. I intend on leaving Japan with quite a few scrapbooks and for that I've got to keep snapping.

I'm out.

* While I'm usually a very truthful writer, the intimate facts of this story had to be changed to protect the innocents. I will say, however, I was not the only one screaming on that fateful night.

10 months left...

While I was in Montreal, people would often ask me how much time I had left in Japan, and after rapid calculations in my head, I came to the above answer. I can hardly believe 14 months have passed since I left my warm cocoon of 5-a-7s and near complacency, and now I can hardly believe I have 10 months to go. I'm often reminded that THE END IS NIGH everytime I look into the faces of my kids. I got my re-contracting papers today, and much to my chagrin, my JTE had forgotten that I spoke to him about my plans post-JET, as in after July 2007, so he was dismayed to learn that I will most probably* be leaving Japan 10 months from now. I have until February 2 to submit my signed papers, so they're just going to have to wait til then.

Other than that, I had a great weekend. Unfortunately, at this moment, I don't have any pics to share (I'm hoping to steal some from the hot Scot), but we went to one and a half festivals. The first was a Mino paper lantern festival, which was beautiful. The second was the Ogaki festival, which was celebrating god knows what and we happened to stumble upon. It was just cool to see some lovely people I haven't seen in a while and get to know some others a bit better.

My main squeeze has a very funny blog that offers a different take on Japan and life in general. Check it out: http://adventuresofblackwood.blogspot.com Each new entry keeps taking the place of my favorite one.

Also, read this bit of poetry that knocked my socks off the other day: http://dancingchaos.blogspot.com/2006/09/on-cover-up-girl.html Sigh, I was missing Coco Cafe at Jello Bar right about then.

I'm out.

* probably as in "I'm saying this right now because I don't want to disappoint you, but I'm leaving Japan in 10 months."

SexyBack...

This was the theme song for me and Dave's time in Montreal. I'm not a huge fan of Justin's but damn, that song is addictive.

As usual, my time in Montreal just zipped by, but with the added pressure of getting ready for Ayanna and Raj's wedding and showing Dave around (it was his first time in the "New World"), life just zipped by in hyperspeed. This trip to Montreal filled me with a myriad of emotions: I felt happy to be home and surrounded by all things familiar, I felt a familiar sense of stress from being pulled in so many directions, guilt from simply not having enough time to see EVERYBODY, shock and sorrow from the shooting at Dawson, a desire to not live in Montreal again, and then sadness when it was time to say goodbye again. Overall though, it was fantastic to see those I love and introduce David to everyone who matter so much to me.

We did so many things, went to so many places and met so many people. We vistied the usual tourist hotspots like the Old Port, Mont-Royal, Downtown and The Main, we ate at Le Biftheque and Schwartz's and made a special trip to Ottawa where we visited Parliament and had dinner with sweet Steph. I also did a couople of firsts: I visited St. Joseph's Oratory (stunning) and ate a smoked meat sandwich at Schwartz's (delicious, much to my surprise. I don't really like smoked meat. Yes, I was born in Montreal). We also hit a local brewery (3 Brasseurs(?) on St. Denis) but unfortunately we did not have time for a proper French meal (Julia, I was gutted. We tried, we really did!).


Luckily, however, Dave had a poutine and had a party in his mouth. We also had some delicious West Indian at Curry House (chicken curry, how I've missed you), and had mouth-gasms at V.I.P. (REAL Chinese food, how I've missed you). It was my 2 sisters, my mom, Dave and I, and we ordered about 10 dishes and finished EVERYTHING. While I was disappointed that we couldn't go to Hot and Spicy because it was closed, V.I.P. was exquisite.

I'm not going to go on and on about this trip because honestly, it feels so far away from now. I'm back at school, nearly over jet lag, and I just blinked and now my calendar for October is full. It was nice to come back to school and be greeted with "Ohisashiburri desu!" Long time, no see. It was especially nice to get greeted with hugs from co-workers and the younger students. I really felt loved and missed.

But hanging it with the crew was pretty sweet. I want to send a special shot out to Dahlia and Steven, who put Dave and I up for nearly a week and were the perfect hosts. They opened up their beautiful (and spacious) home to us and made us feel like family. I've always thought of Dal and I as sisters even while I was going to university in Ottawa and she in Montreal. Weeks would go by with no word then we'd fall back into things so easily. D, I'm so happy to have reveled in your good news and I'm so happy for you. Thanks for everything.

That's about it for now. I'll leave you with some pics to peruse. Time is starting to wind down and filling my head with all kinds of ish...Will share soon...

Oh yeah, if you're a natural Black woman, a fashionista, or someone with time on their hands and loves to read quality writing, then I heartily recommend www.afrobella.com This is my new favorite site and I've been spending hours reading everything on it. She hits the nail on the head on Black icons, hair issues, age issues while reviewing beauty products. I don't feel like I'm wasting time when I read this site. I feel like I'm learning!

"Muthafucking ants on the muthafucking plane..."

I'm back in Japan, back "home", after a brief sojurn to Montreal, and getting here was one helluva trip. Montreal itself was great, though filled with emotion, and I got to explore the city through a tourist's eyes as I took David around. It was his first time in the "new world" and we did the city good and even headed to Ottawa for a day. It was a freaking whirlwind (I'll post all about it a couple of days), but it was nothing compared to leaving Montreal and trying to get back to Nippon ville. Ok, Dave and I got to the airport 2 hours before our 8 a.m. flight on Monday morning. I thought 2 hours would be enough time for us to walk the security gauntlet but I was wrong. I'm not going to get into the facking debacle, especially since I re-enacted it for my 8th graders today, but it was retardedly and unnecessarily long. After running from one end of the terminal to the other, with 5 minutes to spare, Dave and I boarded the plane only to find out that we would be waiting for some poor suckers who were held up in customs. 40 minutes later we were off. The only thing was we only had 35 minutes to make our connection to Osaka. Yeah...we know how this ends, yes? A sprint through the terminal, a garbled question, a negative response and A LOT OF SWEARING. FUCK FUCK FUCK! SHIT! MUTHAFUCKA! (My personal fave.)

But my dear readers, things worked out for your heroine. OR DID THEY??? Dave and I were comped a night's stay at the always pleasurable Days Inn (thanks to Dave's stellar negotiation skills - "Is there any way you can give us a free hotel room?" said in the sexiest Scottish accent EVER.), we faffed around in Fort Worth, Texas, ate a "Chinese" buffet in the hotel's lobby, had fajitas and burgers at Chili's, saw Dr. Phil, caught the Jet Li flick "Fearless" at the theatre. We had a pretty good time interacting with the locals in BumFuck, Texas. We had an awesome night's sleep (only my 2nd since landing in North America) and made our plane to Osaka. However, by this time, my sore throat and running nose had turned into a full blown cold and the 14 hour ride was not pretty. Landing became an issue because my sinuses were so blocked up and filled with nasty that I felt like my head was going to explode. Remember that scene in Mission Impossible III when Keri Russell is screaming about the pain in her head and she's convulsing, then that chip in her brain explodes turning her brain to mush and fucking up her eyes? Yeah, I was sure that was going to be me. I'm not one to make scenes in public, especially those involving tears, but man, I was hurting so bad and there was so much pressure in my head, that I just let myself go. 3 stewardesses were tending to me and poor Dave was watching me lose my mind but still trying to help me to breathe and unblock my ears to relieve some of the pressure. I shudder thinking about it...

Anyway, I deboarded my plane with my head intact and grateful to have to experience behind me. I should have been giving thanks AFTER I left the airport. Our luggage, which we hadn't seen since we left Montreal effectively 3 days before reappeared in Osaka. Mine was fine, but Dave's was infested with ants! Now, Dave is usually a calm and rational man, but he lost it. That was the proverbial straw. More swearing ensued. Dave had his bag searched by customs. I think this trip took 5 years off his life.

This has turned into a rant. My head hurts. I'm out.

When did this become my new normal?

Takoyaki (fried octopus balls) made from scratch the other day in my apartment, with my neighbour and co-worker. It looks kinda pretty, no? Cutting up octopus tentacles. Moi??? I could hardly believe it myself...

I'm heading to MTL tomorrow for a couple of weeks, to be an attendant in my best friend's wedding. I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond to the comments from the last post due to me being B-U-S-Y. Thanks to everyone who read and commented. You gave me a lot of food for thought...Yeah, a lot.

Keep well and will post soon.

Female Chauvinist Pigs...

"We decided long ago that the Male Chauvinist Pig was an unenlightened rube, but the Female Chauvinist Pig (FCP) has risen to a kind of exalted status. She is post-feminist. She is funny. She gets it. She doesn't mind cartoonish stereotypes of female sexuality, and she doesn't mind a carttonishly macho response to them. The FCP asks: Why throw away your boyfriend's Playboy in a freedome trah can when you could be partying at the Mansion? Why worry about disgusting or degrading when you could be givin - or getting - a lap dance yourself? Why try to beat them when you can join them?..."

I'm currently reading Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy, and after reading this passage, I asked myself "Am I one of those women?" I consider myself a nouvelle feminist, one to fight for women's rights and argue against the patriarchy, but down enough to understand and appreciate what goes on in the male mind. I can talk about porn, masturbation, bikini waxes then switch to anti-discrimination laws and argue for equality in the same breath. I've heard and seen a lot, maybe too much, and I admit that it sometimes gets to be a bit too much when hanging with the boys. But I wonder where it leaves me? Am I really doing my part to advance the cause or am I just a chauvinist pig with breasts?

Yesterday, someone asked me if I was offended by the representation of the "voodoo" woman in Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and I replied no, because voodoo practioners are usually African or Caribbean then launched into a diatribe about how we as non-whites are hypersensitized by media portrayals of us. I think the film Crash did a good job of showing Blacks in several tones and nuances, but I admit the film was an exception to the rule. Usually though, I'm not outraged by the stereotypical portrayals shown in the media because, to an extent, they're true. There's a part in Crash where a White character says to a Black one "Don't you just hate Black people?" He went on to rant that Blacks seem to mess up the opportunities they have by shooting themselves in the foot, be it through drugs, violence and other such shit. The bad apples just bring everyone down and those are the fools you see on the 6:00 o'clocking news "wile'in out". And that's the image that gets perpetrated in the media by Blacks themselves! 50, Luda, Buckshot, whatever, you know who I'm talking about.

It's like the proliferation of the use of the N-word. I hate the word, but it's everywhere now, used by Negroes, Caucasians, Latinos and Asians. I don't care if you drop the "er" and add an "a", it's still offensive, but its been appropriated to the point that it's colloquial. I remember "The Nigger Family" sketch in The Chappelle Show, and it was just the N-word back and forth, and Dave Chappelle kinda looks down and I think he says "I'm dying inside." I feel that way sometimes when I think/talk about feminist/Black issues. It's everywhere, and while a part of you wants to be included, on the inside, if you will, another part feels bad that you're just a token that's been given a backstage pass.

Am I making sense? What do you think? Do you think our generation is more about trying to join them (the establishment) than beat them? Men/Whites are invited to discuss.

Year 1 in Japan: A Retrospective...

Before leaving Montreal to come to Japan, I was repeatedly warned that this experience would change me in numerous ways, some big and some not so big. I believed my friends and was open to changes. I had some things to improve on in my life and was looking forward to leaving a city that didn't hold anything new and exciting for me...just more of the same old, same old. Of course, my friends and family were my anchors, but sometimes, you just need to float along by yourself to make things happen. So I took a big chance and did something totally foreign for me - I left security. I had a permanent job with benefits, autonomy and a certain degree of power, a car and the fast track to owning my own condominium apartment. I was almost THERE, but I had to be honest with myself and say that it wasn't enough. I've never lived in a different country and I've never explored a culture radically different from my own. Life in Montreal was fun, don't get me wrong, but it just felt so...small. I used to think that MTL was the centre of the universe and you couldn't get me to change my mind. But after about 2 years of living in Montreal, having returned from university in Ottawa, and visiting Ghana and Japan, I finally realized that there was more to see. After my friend Cheryl moved to Japan on a whim and told me about her experiences, and then seeing an ad for JET in the Concordia student paper, I went to the information session to see what was what. It certainly sounded good so I applied and waited the 5 months to finally hear that I got in.
I moved from dreaming to planning in no time and spent the months between February (when I heard about it) to July (when I boarded the plane) getting myself together: I went to Cuba, I got surgery to correct a long time problem, I got my braces off and I bought tons of clothes and beauty supplies. I said my tearful goodbyes (I lost it at my Sayonara BBQ) and left. Now, a year later, I think I'm ready to share with you what I've learned and how I've changed to date (in no particular order of importance):

1. Being illiterate ain't no joke. Imagine not being to be able to read anything, understand anything, be able to communicate. Having to stop and figure out which bathroom you can enter or what's what at the grocery store. Imagine trying to find your way around town and having NO idea what the characters mean. A year in, I'm not fluent nor can I read everything, but I'm a helluva lot better. I can put some words together and have them make sense. I can figure out a couple of kanji in a phrase and put two and two together (sometimes). I can write little notes in Japanese and not be worried about the meaning being lost. Being illiterate here has made me more aware of the plight of Canadians who can't read or write. But Jesus Christ, if I can go from English to Japanese (I most definitely do not have a head for languages), others can too. They just need the right motivation - like wanting to eat food or leave their house (so not trying to be glib here).

2. I actually like kids. And I can get along with them. Maybe one day, I'll have a few of my own.

3. I don't like to be constantly reminded that I'm Black (AKA a superfreak). I know I'm Black. I have mirrors in my apartment and pictures of myself everywhere. I know I'm different. I just don't like to have absolute strangers point it out at the supermarket, restaurants, toilets, festivals, on the train, you get the idea. I had one girl, one of my elementary students, tell me it was a pity that my skin was so dark. I'm confident in who I am and in my darkness, but goddammit, stop the insanity! (No need to comment about this point unless you want to piss me off). Also, unless you're a close friend looking for a bit of cross-cultural understanding, I don't want to fucking hear about which hip hop artists you like, how you like to get "crunked", and asking me who is better: Cube or Dre.

4. Despite the previous point, I've become a more patient person. You kind of have to be to express yourself in a foreign language and deal with the same questions/statments over and over: you can use chopsticks! can you eat fish? you're so tall! (I'm only 5'7" - barely). do you like rice? I just smile and vent later rather than launching into a sermon on the evils of cultural insulation.
5. I'm strong. Stronger than I ever thought. I don't mean to brag, but it's a testament to one's will and strength to live in a foreign country. I'm so proud of myself.

6. Living abroad has given me valuable insight to what my parent's went through when they left Ghana for Montreal over 30 years ago. They left behind the English/Ga/Twi and traded it in for an unstable French environment. It was hard for them, but now I better understand and love them even more.

7. Since making the decision to go natural (hairstyle), I've found a new definition of beauty for myself and in turn, acceptance. I don't need to conform the mainstream's idea of beauty as it is skewed, particularly for women of African descent. I touch my kinky hair and am awed by its loveliness. I look at myself and see new power in my eyes, nose, lips. I feel like I'm finally who I'm supposed to be and I love it. Geez, I had to come to Japan (with their bare representation of Black people) to finally GET this.

8. I hate, hate, hate bus tours. I've been on two - one to Kyoto and the other to Tottori. Never fucking again.

9. I've learned the power of taking time out just to breathe. My eyes are open all the time, and for the most part, I like what I'm seeing. Without this time, I doubt I would have figured out what career I want to pursue and taking the steps to realize my dream. Plus, having the chance to just read, without distraction has been blissful.

10. In my village, like other towns and cities in Japan, we have time chimes, to signify what time of day it is. At 7:00 a.m. I wake up to Edelweiss (I shit you not), at noon, I can hear the sweet sound of the ocarina, and at 6:00 (5:00 in the winter), I can hear Moon River. Other time chimes can't compare. I can't live without them now.

11. I've learned (finally) that more often than not, it's better to leave things in the past and just let go entirely. The lessons must remain, but the memories associated with the lessons are better left in the past.

12. Food. I really love good food. This is not something new.

13. A travel lust has been awakened inside me. Visiting China and living in Japan is just the tip of the iceberg.

14. I've finally found what I've been looking for, and it's nourishing, beautiful and all mine. Refer to the previous post for a clue.

15. I've changed in the way I let the actions and words of other people sit in my mind. Where I used to obsess over these things, I chew on them for a little while and spit out the fat while ingesting the good stuff. Really, living in this country forces you to let a lot of things simply roll off your back.

16. A smile goes such a long, long way. Being friendly, courteous, understanding, open and outgoing has made this placement reach its full potential.

I feel like I've come a long way from the days I would just cry in my living room, feeling the cold eclipse of homesickness all over me. My days and nights are much more full and my calendar is full of circles and stars and memos. I'm extremely blessed to have such an amazing support network from coast to coast, and in Canada, New York and Ghana. The Motosu and Ono crew have made so happy and been friends in ways I didn't expect. But the most surprising thing for me, the thing that I would never have predicted happening was meeting the Scotsman. Can I really explain it all now, on this public space? I would prefer not to. But he knows. And I know. And that's all that matters.