So fleeting (or saying goodbye, part 1)
The sakura (cherry blossom) season is drawing to a close and it will be my last in Japan. Cherry blossoms don't last long at all (about a month) so you kinda have to remind yourself to appreciate its beauty while you have it. I think the sakura is a fitting symbol of my time in Japan. You sometimes take it for granted, you're sometimes underwhelmed by its presence and then sometimes, when you know it will count the most, you are awed by it. I find myself drawn to its trees at my school and I stare intently at it to the point where the colours and textures disappear. It gets me thinking about my life here and its frustrations and joys. Were it not for Japan, I'd be lacking in so many ways: in experiences, in challenges, in love. I came to Japan and fulfilled the cliche: I found myself. Uggh. It sounds so overdone, but it's so true. It's not that I was terribly lost before, but I guess I'm sure now.

I also think about the relationships I've forged and how I know that the future of these unions is not certain. But rather than be sad about it, I've accepted the possibility of growing apart. And that has given me the ability to appreciate what I have NOW.

Conversely, the imminence of the future is so delicious and daydreaming so addictive. When the little annoying things grate at me, I grow and vilify them, lending validity to my mental escape routes. But I try (man, do I try) to stay focused on the present for it too quickly becomes the past.

I've started to say goodbye to places and things. I've soaked in an onsen for what will probably be the last time. I figure that by starting now, and saying goodbye slowly and in parts (or tiers), I might lesson the blow of leaving in July. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking. Ask me in August.