Tuesday, September 02, 2008


I’ve been away for a while, apologies. Does anyone even read this thing anymore? I’m not sure. I kinda lost the will to blog due to several factors:

1) I’ve been ODing on wedding porn. Since getting engaged, Dave and I have been through the highs and lows of wedding planning. For about three weeks, we were planning a wedding in Mexico. I found a fantastic place and made inquiries on packages and prices. Unfortunately, we really only had a couple of times in the year to do it – either Easter or Summer. Easter would have been great, but tickets double in price. Summer may have worked, but getting married in a hurricane would not have worked out for us. Also, trying to coordinate everything between four countries (England, Scotland (same country, different countries, dig?), Canada and Mexico) just proved to be too vomit-inducing. Destination wedding – scratch that.

2) We made a decision about where to have the wedding and we’ll be getting married in Scotland next summer. Not one to rest on my laurels, I jumped straight into finding a venue, a photographer and a celebrant. After weeks of searching, we went up to Scotland and met with our first choices (ok, there were no other choices) and luckily fell in like with each of them. Contracts have been signed, deposits sent away and a feeling of contentment over crossing the major things off our list is being enjoyed. Sure, we have to figure out entertainment, flowers, favours, apparel (for the boys and girls - I've already ordered my dress!), gifts, invitations (they have all been selected), and various other bits and bobs, but I’m determined to be a chilled-out bride. Also, I’ve cut down on the wedding porn.

3) Shortly after getting engaged, we went to Rome and I managed to blog about that. Then we had guests come stay with us. First, there were the lovely Atendido sisters who stayed with us twice during their whirlwind tour of Europe. Shortly after that, another set of funny Filipinas (Cheryl C , Carezza, Cheryl A and Arleen) crashed with us for a few days before we jetted to Barcelona to celebrate my 30th, which was fantastic, by the way. And oh, did I mention I started a new job at the same time???

4) I fell into a bit of a funk, read: depression. I’m not even going to lie about it. I was upset about everything – our apartment, not having a proper job, the uncertainty of our lives, worrying too much, missing everyone, lack of friends. It would grab hold of me and not let me go. Luckily, I had David to help bring me back to life and phone calls home really helped. I joined a gym in June and that has also helped tremendously. I now have a couple of tools that really help when I feel the darkness coming: a wonderful email from Shiloh that I printed out and keep in my purse, and my camera with pics that make me happy.

5) I’m just trying to have a life. Dave finished his classes a few weeks ago and we’ve just been hanging like a couple, which has been great. One of the cool things we did was go see Paddy Considine and watch his short film and hear him talk. It was a surprise for Dave and we both really enjoyed it. We love stuff like that. We also recently got back from a weekend in London. We had such an amazing time. I saw Jill Scott in concert again and absolutely loved it. I’ve done two things at a concert that I’ve never done before: I screamed “I love you Jill!!!” and I cried. And others cried. And she cried. Actually, when I think about it, I cried the last time I saw her, but that doesn’t matter. She ended the night on such an emotional high and I was so happy to be in her presence.

Dave and I also got together with some friends from Japan who live in London. It was so great seeing Jeremy, Ros, Craig and Ed again and reminiscing about J-land. We went to a Japanese restaurant and I had tempura and sushi, then grabbed some Japanese and Korean snacks and alcohol, went back to the place Ed has been squatting in (ok, that’s an exaggeration because this house was amazing and HUGE. Squatting connotes that you’re living in squalor, which is simply not the case at this crazy joint), and proceeded to talk the night away. We went to sleep when the sun came up which is something I haven’t done for a very long time. It was fantastic.

So that’s what been up with me.

I wasn't sure about what the future of this blog should be. Facebook definitely helps me keep in touch with everyone while this is an outlet for my feelings. It served its purpose of updating everyone about my life in Japan and now I’m just trying to get some permanence for the next few years (does that make sense? It definitely does to me). I’d like to turn this blog into a Blurb book and keep it on a shelf, pull it out from time to time and just remember. But after thinking about it, I've decided to continue writing. Not so much about travel as the trips will be fewer until after the wedding, but I have so many thought sabout the UK, culture, society, living and doing stuff that I think I should keep going. For the time being, anyway. So I'm back.


C7 said...

Very glad to have you back, Ms. Persimmon. I often wonder about your adventures at the end of Eurasia opposite the one I last saw you at. If you're interested in knowing how many people actually read your blog, you can install google analytics, but many a blogger prefer not to know.

I'm jealous of your JET reunion. I had a couple of brief ones - Alice and Bran in December and Shiloh in May, but this country is just too damn big to get more than a handful of us in one place, it seems. If you end up back in TO before I leave this place, you'll be the closest ones to me.

On the note of your depression - I've always wondered how I'd fare in another English speaking country without some kind of school or course to put me in constant contact with people. Would cultural things get in the way? Would I become a hermit? I've seen some of the most extroverted people I know have social trouble in environments that differed only marginally from what they were used to. Interesting how that works.

You mentioned a letter from Shiloh. I've got an old note from Shi on my wall - two quotations that remain as relevant to my life as ever. She gave them to me in early 2006 and the ink has nearly faded. "Freedom comes when you are without anxiety about non-perfection." and "When the mind is most chaotic is when we are avoiding looking at something. There's something there to meet." Good stuff.

I hope all's well, Kaki.


Anonymous said...

I read your blog. Regardless of how much or little you may post, it is always nice to hear your voice (yes, I can hear you say what you write).