On the edge...

I have been a ball of emotions lately. I will be leaving Japan in about 5 weeks and I feel it every day. I'm ready to leave my job and can't help but think "I will never have to teach numbers 11-100 again! Wheee!!!!" or "This is the last time I'll have to teach present perfect! Hoo raa!". But at the same time, I remember that I won't see my 9th graders graduate or that I'll miss their ocarina performance with the great and powerful Sojiro and I get a bump in my throat. That's what happened when my kids ask me if I'll be at their concert and I said no, last year was my last one and the kids said that there were sad. Ack! My tear ducts were screaming for release, but I held it together. I'm getting much better at that, thank you.

But, I've made it apparent in this blog, more than a few times, that I'm ready to come home. That's completely true, but I'm a little apprehensive. My world in Montreal has changed since I've been gone. My family has changed, my friends have changed, the scene has changed and I know a whole host of things I can't even anticipate have changed as well. But most importantly, I have changed. I wonder how I'll react to things that I used to take for granted. This morning, I was on the phone with my sister and she was cussing out some dude for stealing her parking space, and the guy was screaming at her at the top of his lungs. And I said (Christ, I can believe it), "That wouldn't happen in Japan." Eeeek. I don't want to be one of those people that looks at life through the rose-coloured "Made in Japan" lenses. You know what I'm talking about. Those people who were away for an extended period of time and come back to their hometown going on and on about how everything was so much better abroad. I can't stand that. I don't want to do that.

That gets me thinking though. Is life better in Japan? Can I say, that after two years of living and breathing all things Japanese that this was better than anything I've ever known in my life? I can say (somewhat hesitantly), that no, it ain't. There are a lot of good things about the country, as well as a lot of things that don't make sense to me or are just wrong, but life is not better here. I hesitated because I think that Japan has bettered me in a variety of ways. Without all the free time I've had here, and the opportunities I've had to travel and learn about the world and myself, this would have been all for naught.

So while I am sad about leaving my temporary home, and saying goodbye to friends and my sweet students, I'm ready to move on and to see how the new me takes to the outside world, the real world, if you will. I've been challenged and am still being being challenged. But now I'm ready to dip my feet in new waters.

I should be setting sail (or ahem, leaving on a JET plane) on July 29th.

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Last weekend, Gen, Shi, Dave and I went to Fukui in search of nothing but finding a lot. We found some very interesting rock formations in the sea and decided to climb them. Never mind the facts that 3 of us were wearing flip flops, no one else was climbing, and bottom below was full of crashing water and jagged rocks. We climbed and we succeeded. I decided to take the above picture when I had the startling realization that I could very well die doing something that didn't need to be done. I guess I took the pic to commerate this moment when I grew golden balls. Dave was proud and surprised that I attempted this feat but I knew I had it in me. I guess I just choose/chose not to show it all the time.

We also found a sweet little cafe that jutted out into the sea and the view was breathtaking. Though it was seemingly picture perfect, the limitations of a camera made it difficult to do it justice.

I might be able to squeeze in one or two more day trips, but if this was the last one, then I'd be happy. It was all that and I bag of dried octopi.