A Whale of a Good Time

As I mentioned in my previous post, I surprised Dave by taking him to the Nagoya Port Acquarium. He had no idea where we were going and when we finally got there, he still couldn't figure it out. But when he put two and two together, he went from man to boy in about half a second. And his excitement was contagious. It was our first time visiting an acquarium and I've never seen a whale or a dolphin before. It was AWESOME. Even though everything was in Japanese, it was still fascinating. The dolphins were amazingly cute and were total show boats. But seeing the Orca was the coolest thing for me. It was just so huge and it didn't seem real. There are usually shows featuring the whale and dolphins but due to the inadequate information found on the English portion of the official web site, we didn't get to see them perform. But it was still exciting nonetheless.

There were loads and loads of sea life including this ugly bad boy: the spider crab.
He was one ugly MF. I think just his body was about 2 feet long. His legs were super long and I just got shivers the entire time it was in my sight.

We also saw octopi upclose. I've eaten many an octopus on many an ocassion, but I believe this may have been my first time seeing one this big (it wasn't even that big). Again, shiver.


Of course, there were loads of fish, we saw a few beluga whales and I got to see penguins. They were so cute and funny, but since my camera died, I unfortunately don't have any pictures.
But it was an awesome day. After running around the acquarium (we arrived a little late and only had 1.5 hours) we took the subway to Sakae and went to the Outback Steakhouse. I've never been to Outback but it was just what we needed after our eventful day. We had calamari as appetizers (I know, I know, so cruel) and ribs as our main, and it hit the spot. After dinner, we walked around and had ice cream, and for the day, it felt like we weren't even in Japan, which was nice. Sigh. It was a good day.

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I just remebered a funny thing that happened in class the other day. We were playing the "What am I" guessing game, and I was feeding the students clues (I was an airplane). One of the kids asked "can I touch you?" My JTE shook his head and said no. But after a moment, he said "you can touch her on the inside". He looked at me, asking me with his eyes to repeat what he just said. And I did. "Yes kids, you can touch me on the inside." I'm a dirty bastard.

Fun and Games

The last week or so has been awesome at school. Things have settled down and I've gotten into a routine at both schools. I'm having a lot more fun in the classes, smiling and laughing more, and basically being my usual happy self. My relationships with my kids have been blossoming and my JHS students are trying their damndest to communicate with me in English. I was seriously floored when a couple of ninenseis (grade 8 students) who had previously never even spoken to me in English were actually putting in some effort to communicate with me. They'd call me over with a wave of their hand and string some words together trying to find the best way to say something. This was WHOA for me and I loved it. I think part of this can be attributed to my new JTE, Murachi-sensei. He's young (29), energetic and forces his kids to communicate in English. He's implemented a twice weekly diary submission, English-Japanese dictionaries in the classrooms, phonics training for the ichinenseis (grade 7) and constant English communication. This is by far a superior Japanese teacher of English. We communicate well together inside and outside of the classroom.

JHS has been brillant and the elementary school has improved a lot, too. It's warmer now so I join th kids outside during recess or after lunch. We had an earthquake and fire drill and I had my second go around in the earthquake simulator:














I felt a little quesy afterwards and held it together. I hope to God we never experience a serious earthquake. I shudder thinking about it. The picture at the top is the "helmet" the kids and teachers are supposed to wear in the event of an earthquake. It's like a seat pad and just as sexy. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to turn the camera on to myself. Too bad, so sad.

On Saturday, I had to work, which always blows, but I had a good day nonetheless. Parents were invited to sit in on classes and we had a good number of folks during my ninensei class. These kids aren't very fluent yet but they try their best, which goes a long way with me. Our class centred around show and tell, with each kid bringing in and talking about their "treasure". Here are pics of my kids getting ready for their big day:





After work, all the teachers and members of the PTA went out for an enkai (eating and drinking party). Since it was Saturday night, everyone got right sloshed and fear of sounding silly in our non-native language vanished. The food was good but the sake and beer were the main attractions. Mmmm, warm sake. The conversations were flowing and my JTE and I had an awesome discission about the differences in work ethics between the Japanese and Canadians. I told him frankly that I didn't agree in the rampant workaholicism that is prevalent all over the country and he confessed that he wished the Japanese would have a more foreign (i.e. Canadian) attitude towards work. He told me that most teachers only take 3-4 days off a year even though they are entitled to around 20...keep in mind that summer vacation here lasts about 5 weeks. I don't understand. Working in a school is hard work - you need time to mentally and physically recoup. I boldy told him that I'm entitled to 20 and he could be sure that I will be taking every day. Though we agreed on most points, I was a little sad to hear that he has to miss out on some cool things due to the stringent work culture in many Japanese schools. He told me that his friends are going to Seattle and he wants to go badly but he probably won't because of the unwritten rules. Kawaiso - it's a pity. Fortunately, that discussion didn't put a damper on the evening and after the enkai ended, we made our way down the street to the after party. There was more drinking and a lot of karaoke, but I decided to switch to water, much to the horror of the increasingly rowdy parents. We were soon joined by David and Jeffrey and my drunken self was ready to turn in around midnight, so after a soulful rendition of Sexual Healing, we bounced. It was definitely a fun time.

On Sunday, I surprised Dave by taking him to the Nagoya Port Acquarium and it was so damn cool. I haven't uploaded my pics, but I'll blog about it in my next post.

For some time, I've had the sneaking suspicision of whining about my time here. This blog has become a cathartic release for me. I like talking about the highs and lows and I'm not going to apologize for using this blog as an outlet for bitching and moaning, but I feel like I'm back on track with so much to look forward to in the coming 5 months. I'm happy with my decision to stay another year. But it's good to get a reality check from a friend once in a while:

"Hey Kakita,

Hope you are well. Just read your blogger. How can you be down in the dumps over there. Is it because you just left Montreal and are missing your family already. Don’t whine about it. Like you said, you’re there for 14 months so you might as well make the best of it. That hobby thing sounds really good. Pick something unusual that you probably won’t be able to do in Montreal. Master it and then when you come back, you can give classes. Start a whole new business. I don’t think I have to remind you that you are doing such a courageous thing. Going over there and teaching these kids. Not many people would actually do it. They may talk about it, but you are actually living your dream. You should just stop and think about that. In your old age (many years from now) you’ll be telling your grandkids about this adventure. It is so amazing sometimes, I think you don’t realize just how amazing you are."

I received this email from a friend and ex-coworker. Yeah, I feel pretty fucking amazing right now...

By the way, here the link to hair progress site: http://public.fotki.com/kakita/ My hair is growing! Yatta!

May promises to be a busy month. We have 3 consecutive days off in May (Golden Week) and David and I will be going to Tokyo. My birthday will be spent in Okinawa and David's bday will be at the end of the month. Tanoshimi yo! (I'm looking forward to it). A bientot.

Trying to start fresh...

It's April, marking the start of a new school year here in Japan. With this comes new teachers, new styles, new routines and simply put, new beginnings. With all this new-ness, I'm trying to develop a new attitude. I'm been stuck in a negative headspace for a little while - maybe a couple of months. I've been feeling like I don't want to be here anymore and that I'm wasting time. My Chinese sign is Horse so I always feel the need to gallop to greener pastures when the mood strikes. So that's what I'm feeling now. I'm not being challenged enough and feel like I gotta move on in order to find some sense of fullfillment during the approx. 8 hours I spend on the job.
Now, I've been going around and around in my own head on how to make things better on me mentally during my time here. I've thought about not caring at all and just giving the minimum effort each day (it sucks, it's so not me to do things half assed, and when I try, I get realllly cranky). I've thought about running away and joining the circus (not feasible and financially bad as I'll have to pay god knows what to my contracting organization). I've tried to stop and smell the flowers and get joy in the mundane and the everyday. I've stressed, I've thought way too much, I've cried and I've given up. I'm here for another 14 months. There is nothing I can do to change this cold, hard fact.
So I'm going to have to get busy, get occupied and improve my attitude at school. I gotta thank Shiloh for this because she really made me see that I need to get out there, have fun and get active. Since it will be getting warmer, I need to get out more. Either for walks/runs or going to the movies or visiting friends nearby. I also need to develop an interest. It's sad but true, but I'm a grown woman with very few interests. I don't really have some hobbies that I can work on. True, I knit, I love reading and watching movies, but I don't have anything that I could hone some skills on. So over the next little while, I'm going to check out some options that have recently come available to me. I'll update you in the near future.

Anyway, I haven't been updating as much as I should because I've been pretty busy. So I'm going to dazzle you with pictures.


Todd came to Japan with me at the beginning of April and has been all over the place. We didn't actually hang out too much, but we did a couple of things. Last Saturday, Todd, Dave and I drove 3 hours to Takayama for the annual matsuri (festival).

We missed the floats but we caught some processions, made our way around town, had some street food and enjoyed the sights.

Unfortunately, we were unable to enjoy the much hyped Hida beef and had to settle for ramen instead.







My first sakura (cherry blossom) season has come and gone and I must admit that I was a tad underwhelmed (I must be the only person in Japan with such treacherous feelings). It was a sucky season due to the long winter, heavy snowfall and rainy days during viewings. Up close and in clusters they are beautiful and they have definitely livened up the school yards and the views from the river, but I found that autumn was much more spectacular But I welcome it's addition to the already beautiful landscape, no matter how brief it's stay. I've posted some pictures at the beginning of this post, but here are a few more:




Ok, that's all you get for now. I'll be posting a flurry of new pictures againg soon.

Mata ne.

Redefining Home

It's been a spell, hasn't it? Going to MTL and returning to Japan has turned my emotions and my body upside down over the past 2.5 weeks (that's it??!?). Returning to my home city was brillant and exceeded all of my carefully constructed expectations. I was overcome with happiness by laying eyes on my family and my best friends. I re-settled effortlessly into my temporarily vacated roles as big sister/daughter/friend and found that though everyone was living their lives like they're golden, I am irreplaceable and well missed. I'm still jet lagged and while I wish to go over my 9 days in la belle province in minute detail, I'm going to keep it brief.

My second stop after going to my mother's home was visiting my godson. It would be our first meeting. He was beautiful. I fell in love. He took a shine to me immediately. The rest is history (those are his feet up there).

I fell in back in step with the girls and felt so amazed by their sheer beauty and their love for me. "It's like you never left." Such sweet words were honey to my ears.

I stood up as godmother at the baptism of Shauna's son, I met the apple of Ayanna's eye, I crossed the border to Burlington to buy the essential unmentionables and skin care products that have not yet made their way to Canada. I ate A LOT, and had a Dining Diva reunion at delish Bouchon de Liege and caught up with La Filipinas over much desired pizza, amuse bouches and Rockaberry Pie. I managed to squeeze in dishes from Ghana, the West Indies, Vietnam, France. The fancy schmancy and the ordinary. My gastronomical wishes were fulfilled and I was satiated.

The days flew by too quickly as I had to squeeze in quality time with the girls, with my sisters, with my mom, uncle and cousin. Many phone calls were made and even more were missed. I let people down but such is the nature of the visiting beast. I didn't cry upon depature as I know I'll be back in September for a wedding. But my throat did get tight as it does when I have to say goodbye.

And the big surprise is I cut my hair. All off it. I've decided to go natural and embrace the authentic me free of chemicals. This was not a hasty decision; I've been mulling it over for the past 6 months, ever since it took 4 hours to get my hair did in a Japanese salon here. I'm so over putting chemicals in my hair to get that "look" that wasn't authentic at all. I wasn't born with straight hair. It's a process, one that is to be repeated every 6 weeks. One that would entail having a stinky assed "relaxer" slathered on my dome, leaving limp hair, scalp scabs and that distinct processed smell. Don't get me wrong - approximately a week after the process, I'd be loving my hair - so shiny, so bouncy, so straight, so fake. But the process itself, along with the financial and mental expenses, proved to be to formidable for me to maintain in the land of the rising sun.

So here I am: free and nappy. I've decided to follow my progress as my hair grows providing an outlet for my frustrations and triumphs (and to save my loved ones from hearing me bitch and moan). I'm bringing it public and I'll announce the URL soon. Watch this space for updates...



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As my title mentioned, I'm in the process of redefining home. I'm currently in a bit of a limbo. Montreal will forever be the city of my heart, while Japan will never be home. My mind is currently bombarded by too many thoughts, but I'm taking comfort in something a very amazing man said to me recently: "People can be home." In this time of personal confusion and uncertainy, I find solace in his words.

Oh fuck/Oops, I did it again...

I feel like spring is finally here. Thank da lawd. Yesterday was absolutely beautiful for most of the day and it was so much warmer outside than inside. Today, I awoke to a bright, warm day and in the midst of the rush to get to work on time, I decided to dry my clothes outside and as I opened my window, I was yet again awestruck by the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. I actually paused what I what I was doing, leaned against the door and had a mental mini-orgasm. Nice.

When I was walking to school with the sounds of Beyone and Sean Paul bouncing on my ear drums, I was once again blind-sided by the sheer beauty of the snow capped mountains in the distance cutting across the perfect blue sky. That led me to have a "oh fuck" moment while I was enraptured by pure perfect beauty. People, I literally stopped dead in my tracks and exclaimed "oh fuck, that's so beautiful." Yeah, I'm a poet; bet you didn't know.

When I rode my bike to town this afternoon to hit the ATM before I leave on my trip, the sound of the Neo River was thundering in my ears and I had my second "oh fuck" moment. The water was so blue and clean. I'm falling in love with my village again. It is a rare thing to have so much natural beauty in one place, and even rarer to be slapped in the face by it to be reminded of what I have.

So, yesterday and today were the graduation/closing ceremonies for the elementary and junior high schools. The 6th graders bid adieu to their elementary school and there were some tears but none from me. I'll see all but one of them in a few weeks. I actually teared up though when I learned that Kai, a really bright boy, will be going to Nagano ken to begin junior high school. We'll also be losing his brother Riki, who is in the fourth grade. I'll definitely miss both of them. BTW, that's the graduating class, all 9 of them.

Today, the JHS had the closing ceremony and farewell ceremony for half our teachers and our kocho sensei (principal). I was cool until kocho sensei said "sayonara" and then my eyes started burning something terrible. One by one the departing teachers stepped up to the mic and gave their anecdotes and thoughts and damned if I couldn't hold myself together. When Tomomi, my neighbour, got up and began crying before she could utter a word, I did it again: I boo-hooed, but this time, I had no tissues, no hankies, no nothing. I'm absolutely TERRIBLE with goodbyes and I'm gutted that I won't see these people again, especially my JTE and Tomomi. Though we had some very small issues in the classroom, I accepted her old school approach and appreciated everything she did for me. From helping me set up my phones and internet, to driving me places, to taking me out for meals and tea and to the onsen, she's been the one Japanese person I could really count on. We had a really good working relationship and I think we respected and liked each other.

Tomomi also helped me a great deal because she's my neighbour, she's young and we communicate well. We've joked around and she's driven me places.
She's the only one in this village who knows what's happening in my personal life. She's an absolutely sweet person and I'm going to miss her.

When all the students formed two lines so that the teachers could walk down the aisle (they were also playing a song on their musical instruments), I was bawling. My JTE also hugged me (a big deal in Japanese culture) and I was a baby again. When I'm cracking, a hug or a hand on my shoulder causes me to fall apart...Needless to say, I'm alright now because everyone is still here, but the end of the enkai tonight might cause me to have a repeat performance. ..

So after 8 months here, with the past 3 being pathetically, ridiculously difficult, I will be going back to my beloved city tomorrow for a short break. I doubt I'll have neither the time or the inclination to update this but we'll see. There will be so much to do and so many people to see, but I'll retain it all and give y'all a proper update when I get back. There'll probably at least one major surprise I'll report when I return...Sorry, no hints. You're going to have to wait!

Peace out from N.V. (that's Neo Village to you.)

The Amazing Disappearing English...

Not mine, of course. Thanks to a steady supply of books, Internet access and the maintenance of this blog, my English is A-Ok. The disappering English I'm referring to is that of my JTE. Her last day here is Friday and I think she is under the strong impression that she will not be a JTE again. She now almost exclusively speaks to me in rapid fire Japanese, her spelling and grammatical skills have gone the way of the cuckoo bird and she's making embarassing errors in class (which I've decided to correct on the spot - fuck la politesse). Today she was helping one of the ninenseis, who are currently preparing their self intros for when they go to Canada, and she threw in the towel (actually, she literally threw in the pen) and told me to work on it. Ayyyy. (Sharp intake of breath) Chotto... It's a good thing I'm in a fabulous mood due to the fact that I will be on beautiful Canadian soil in about 60 hours (give our take the time difference). Ants. Pants. Excited. Discuss.

In other news, I had a fab weekend. On Friday night, in our quest to see the cherry tree in my village (not in bloom yet), Dave in I set off in his car for the 2km odyssey. However, we missed the bridge and ending up driving to town. On our way, we passed by the Neo damn and caught some serious vertigo as we watched the brown and white rapids rush by. We then made our way to Mos Burger for a classy dinner of burgers, fries and salad. We were feeling so ravenous/gluttonous, we had two burgers each. I'm not ashamed; I was on the PMS train.

Saturday morning we had to get up early so that we could finish the business end of me owning THE CAR. A usually complicated affair took approximately 10 minutes and 2500 yen to complete thanks to the original dealer of the car. After working out some details, Dave and I set off to hang out in the city centre of Ogaki. We parked at the mall and walked about 20 minutes to Landy's, a Brazillian speciality shop that sells AMAZING sanwiches, as well as other delectable things. We gorged on heavenly meat sandwiches and fries, and again, I'm not ashamed; the PMS train had officially pulled into the station.

After finishing our meal and using tissues to wipe away any evidence of orgy of meat, we walked back to the shopping centre and hung out like a couple of mallrats. We stalked the arcade and played my personal fave: House of the Dead (4). I jumped. I screamed. I killed zombies. I died. We also played the taiko drumming game which is always fun. There was also a movie theatre, but alas, we were not lucky enough to get find an interesting movie. We had made plans to eat dinner with Shiloh and her friend Andre (always eating, je sais), and we decided to head back to town. It was during this journey that I re-learned something that I tend to forget now and then: me, a man, a heavy vehicle and no sense of direction DOES NOT WORK WELL together. Add fuel, strike a match and watch the fireworks. I have to admit it; I get really impatient when I don't know where I'm going. It's irritating when I'm with my girlfriends, but for some reason, when I'm with a guy in a car, my temper is like hemorrhoids; it flares up. I go from a perfectly respectful, gracious, charming, beautiful person into a demon with a rash. I get short, I gnash my teeth, my hair goes gray. It ain't pretty. But somehow, Dave and I perservered and survived with the new knowledge that perhaps we shouldn't take any road trips alone in the future.

We had my oishii yaki niku and had a good time frying up meats on the grill in the middle of the table. I promise I'll post photos of this soon. The company was great, my belly was full and I was all smiles.

Sunday was a nice relaxing day and thoughts of Okinawa in 2 months time are on my mind. It's Monday today, 3:50 and it's a holiday tomorrow. Though the past little while has been particularly rough, it's getting better. It's April next week, the new school year will begin, I'm going home to recharge, I'm at my fighting weight and look fab and I'm really blessed. The cliched sunshine after the rain is beginning to peek through the rain. All will be well in Kaki land.

I'm so lazy and so hungry...

Anyway, going to keep this brief...can't concentrate. What we have here is an introduction to tea ceremony at my apato the other night during an English conversation class. Delish.




Here is my sannenseis that just graduated. All 14 of them. Here is a beautiful reminder of just how little they learned in English, but it was sweet nonetheless.




Here is my lovely new car.


Weekend begins in T-1 hour.

Aside from the winter my father died...

This has been the worst winter on record. Hmmm, maybe it has to do with any or all of the following:

* Living in Japan in super inaka.
* Being physically isolated and stuck in my apartment 5 out of the 7 nights of the week.
* Going into shiver overload trying unsuccessfully to get warm in front of the kerosense heater due to the lack of central heating.
* Japan: I love you/I loathe you"
* The lack of freedom and independence.

I can honestly say I have never felt so completely...ah, I can't think of an appropriate adjective. But I guess I can describe it: I sometimes feel like walking over to the wall and climbing it to the ceiling and crawling from one side to the other. And just staying there, just for the change...No, that doesn't quite do it. I can think of other things, but for fear you will try to have me checked in at Hotel Loony Bin, I will keep those ideas to myself. But suffice to say, my attitude this (past) winter has marked a real shift in my attitude. I internalize a lot more, to the point that it comes out in some heinous fashion, usually in someone's ear, to the point where I rather be standing outside naked. I look really normal on the outside, and more often than not, those close to me won't know that I'm having problems, but when it's revealed, it's quite spectacular, but in a very bad way. Thank God I don't have any vices or I would have become a very bad afterschool special.

But the good side (yes, there actually is a good side) is that I'm really reconciling what I can and can't change about me. For example, one thing I wanted to learn how to do is to live in the moment. You know, stop and smell the roses, be fully tuned in, etc. Well, what I've realized is I can't do this everyday, all the time. When I see something naturally beautiful, I can look at it, take it in, have it wash over me and fully appreciate it, or when I am having a great time, I'm fully there. But there have been some days, ok, a lot, over the past few months, that just suck ass. I think the fundamental reason why I don't try really hard to do "live in the divinity of the everday" is because I'm a planner to the core. Planning trips, financial planning, 5 year plans, planning just turns me on. So when things are crap, rather than trying to turn that frown upside down by hugging a tree (no pun intended, Shi), I sit down with my notebook and write about what I want to do. And that satisfies me. But unfortunately, since I have NO idea what I will be doing after JET, I'm at a stalemate. Oh, there are ideas. But I don't have enough info to make any headway. (I'm also a crazy researcher. ) I'm not going to get into the whys, but I can't move on the major planning til later. For short term plans, I also have to wait. Okinawa, Hokkaido, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Kobe and Tokyo are all on the horizon, but since it won't be going alone, I'll have to wait for schedule checks, consenses and the like. So this is teaching me to take one step at a time. I'm going to Montreal first, so I can just think about that for now, and that will have to do. You take the good, you take the bad...(ref?).

Another thing that is just eating at me is the total lack of freedom and independence. At first it was relaxing to take a break from my previously hectic lifestyle back home. You'd be hardpressed me to find me home in the spring, summer and autumn, and I would take the winter to chill out and stay indoors. If I wasn't window shopping, actually shopping, going to cinq a septs, going to birthday parties, dinners, game nights, the gym, the movies or some other excursion, I could be found watching the latest installment of Crap TV, reading books or glossys, or gabbing on the phone. I had a fun social life and carried around an agenda to be sure I could pencil you in. And of course I knew that life would change in Japan, but it was shocking just how inaka I'm in. No convenience stores, no fast food restaurants, no grocery stores, no movie theatre, shopping centres or gym. Everything is at least a 40 minute drive/train ride away, and that's just the basic survival stuff. Entertainment is even further away. Staring at the walls in my flourescent lit apartment while Japanese chatter spills out of the TV is not healthy. Thankfully, I have a phone, the Internet, great friends and a comfortable apartment. But as an extrovert, you gotta know I need people. I should have listened when my predecessors recommended getting a car. But I thought I could survive without one. Actually, if I was just staying a year, I could have probably stuck it out. But I'm now at the point where I can say FUCK THAT! So I did what I probably should have done months ago: I bought a car. And not just any typical Japanese car. I bought a full on pimp-mobile: (ahhh, picture to come - Blogger pic uploading is down).
Yeah, I know it's a little excessive, but I wanted a four door sedan with a CD player, and I got that and more. When I was really needing one, a message came over the listserv and I was lucky enough to get it. I got a really good price on it so I'm really happy. This will relieve so much of the cabin fever that's been really strangling me the past little while. I'll be able to exhale soon...

Anyway, it's bright and sunny now and I think I will go for a run after school. I'll have my english conversation class tonight and hit the sack early.

Oh yeah, yesterday I was pretty proud of myself because I had to go to City Hall solo to get some preliminary paperwork done for the car. I had forgotten my dictionary and I had no one to help me out. Luckily, I knew what to ask for and I spent about 30 minutes chatting with a really nice lady who speaks no English, filling out some forms in Hiragana, using all my faculties to understand what the staff wanted and just doing the best I could. And the father of a student who will be starting Grade 1 in April asked if I could tutor his daughter in the near future. He mentioned something about food so I guess that will be my payment. More details will follow as they came. But it felt good to assert my independence yesterday. Real good.

I promise to post the graduation photos the next chance I get.

Season of farewells and welcomes...

It is near the end of the the Japanese school year and my 3rd (9th, to you Canadians) grade kids have graduated. It's a more than likely that I'll never see the majority of these kids again and it makes me sad. Let's rewind a bit, shall we?

On Wednesday, I gave my last lesson to the kids and it wasn't really a lesson as much as an exercise in having fun and being loud. We played a couple of games for the whole period and at the end, there was some chatter then a couple of kids jankened (rock-paper-scissors). Yuki was the winner (loser?) and she stepped up to me and told me how much she was going to miss me and that I was a good teacher. Then one by one, each of the 3rd graders came up to me, looked me in the eye and said a few words, in English. Of course I was touched and reached out to them the best way I knew how - pure, physical contact. Yup, I gave each of those Japanese kids a big, messy hug, and while all the girls and a couple of boys were receptive and hugged me back, a few boys stood rod straight and slapped me on the back when I hugged them. And one boy, Kazuyuki, actually ran away from me. But don't worry; I caught him and hugged the hell out of him!

At the beginning of the class, I noticed that one of the girls, Mami, wasn't there and I assumed that she was doing something important with another teacher. But at the end of the class when my JTE told me step outside, I found her there with Mami, who was sobbing uncontrollably. She managed to get out a couple of words before I started tearing up. We hugged furiously while she spilled fat tears on my shoulder and I told her that I will miss her too, that she'll big star and that she was one of my favorites. I HATE goodbyes, absolutely hate them, so I knew that the graduation ceremony would not be tear-free for me.

So here we are. Post-graduation ceremony, sitting in the teacher's lounge. I was right. It was a doozy. The girls were sobbing, even a couple of the second grade girls, and most of the teachers were crying and I wasn't an exception.

I'm beat now. I'm waiting to get the F out of here and begin my weekend, but I'll be back soon to post my pics. Later.

What's the point??? (Warning: Rampant cynicism and bitching ahead...)

Honestly, I'm fine. I'm not depressed, upset or angry. Just feeling cynical today. I guess it started during 3rd period. I was team teaching 1st grade JHS students and half the class is comprised of half wits...Okay, that's harsh. There are just a couple (okay 3) half wits, and a few who are a bit slow and the rest try really hard and are good English students. I like these kids, I really do, but as I was half listening to my JTE trying to explain English grammar in Japanese, I looked out the window and retreated into my own brain, and a single phrase came to me loud and clear: Kaki, what's the point? What is my real role as an ALT? Yeah, I know that we are here to help the children with their pronounciation and improve their language abilities, and of course, put into practice all that internationalization talk, but WTF am I doing here? And why have I decided to stay another year? It's been 7.5 months and I'm feeling like I can do this job in my sleep. Preparing for classes is a no-brainer, and while I still get butterflies the moment before I start a class, I don't feel like I'm using my whole brain, or I can learn anything more as an ALT. Trust me, I do my job well and do love interacting with the children, but is this challenging? Nope. Do I have faith that I'm helping these kids learn useful English that will help them in everyday situations? Perhaps at the JHS level. Am I confident that the the majority of these kids will be able to communicate with an English foreigner outside of school when their JTE is not whispering in their ear? Not at all.

I am well aware that perhaps my primary role is to show these students what exists outside of Japan and help spark their interests in foreign people, places and languages. But I wonder: why aren't they doing more leg work? Why is it that the majority of Japanese people will not emigrate or even live outside their own country for a stretch? Why is it that foreigners are imported en masse to teach the nation's children at an exorbitant expense, while a richer and more satisfying experience is a plane ride away? It isn't a question about money or time as Japan is a rich country and people do get vacation time (though its unbelievable how little vacation people take. 4 days vacation in year? Unique? No way.). Could it be xenophobia, narcissism, ignorance, all of the above or none of the above? From what I see, children are spoon fed and coddled, and individualism is a label that is shunned and ridiculed. I am grateful that my school has a homestay program that encourages discovery and research of a different culture (Canadian) and quite happy that one 3rd grade girl would like to move to Toronto. But what about the rest of them? I sometimes think "if I could just have this make sense to one child, it would be worth it", but would it really? I'm ambitious. I wish all my kids would have a fever for travel. But alas, at this point, that's not even on the radar.

Another thing irking me is the role of the teacher in Japanese society. While "sensei" (master) is attached to their name, I feel that teachers are overworked and underappreciated, but not by their charges, but rather by their bosses. They put in way too much overtime due to a mixture of a sense of duty and appalling inefficiency (really now, does any teacher need to put in a 72 hour work week?), while being available to the students long after the final bell rings. These teachers act as chauffers, tutors, motivators and nurses on top of their already stressful duties as educators, psychologists, disciplinarians, and parent. So where are the parents? According to the book Learning to Bow, written by one of the first ever JET Programme participants, once a child enters school, the teacher effectively becomes the parent, while the parent at home (usually the mother) is the hard-nosed, whip-holding, study-Nazi pushing their kids to be academic superstars so that they can get into the best schools. I don't know this for sure, but from what I can tell, the teacher, in particular the homeroom teacher, is the centre of a kid's world. And I feel that the relocation system can be better administered. See, the way it goes is teachers stay at a school for 2-3 years. Every March, teachers are told where they will be transferring to. 2 weeks before they go to their new school. I don't understand this. What is this?? I know it's their way, but it doesn't impress me because I don't like surprises. Bah.

There are so many things I admire about Japanese culture and I feel very fortunate about my placement because I truly feel cared for and I am kept in the loop, a lot better than a lot of my fellow JETs. But I'm still just a stranger in a strange land and these are just my observations. Please don't miscontrue anything I said as racist or anything of the like. And don't worry - I'm not going anywhere...

Ahh, Montreal. How I've dreamed of you. Just a few more weeks now.

Sun, rain, sleet, snow, snow, snow, rain, sun...all in 24 hours...

I was getting worried there for a sec. It had been raining pretty much non-stop for the past few days, which led me to believe that Spring was well on the way. Then the snow came. And it didn't stop. As I watched it float down furiously across the mountains and stick to trees, I wondered if I'd ever be able to retire my winter coat for the season. But now it's beautiful again, the heavens the colour of Crayola Sky Blue and the sun casting it's light as far as the eye can see. Thank goodness...

I had a fantastic day at school today, though one of my classes was cancelled. While I was slow and lethargic yesterday (no doubt my anemia is back, cue scary music), today I was bouncy, witty, charming and full of energy. My second grade class went swimmingly having spent 50 minutes laughing and joking with my kids. School ends in a couple of weeks and everyone knows it's coming. We've covered nearly all the material in the book, so I expect there to be fun and games for the next few classes. I've always loved the end of the school year, though here in Japan, it comes about 3 months earlier.

As I just mentioned, I was feeling pretty crap yesterday and cancelled plans for Saturday night. But my mood and body significantly picked up when I spotted the familiar white, blue and red envelope sticking out of my mailbox. Hello, a Canada Post envelope pour moi! Quelle surprise!! It was from Cheryl and though she had told me to keep an eye on my mailbox, it was still a happy surprise. I waited until after I had prepared dinner to rip it open because you can't tell me that anticipation isn't delicious foreplay. Well, Cheryl, who is one of my best friends, sent me season 4 of Law and Order (when Jerry Orbach (RIP - Lenny Briscoe) came on board and Chris Noth (AKA Mike) was still around, some Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion, a CD of pics of what she's been up to, a CD of old-school jams (Real Love, One More Chance, Back to Life, whu!!!!!!!!) and a handwritten note. People, I got up and shook my ass. Seriously, booty shaking, hip rocking, hand pumping dancing for 10 minutes. I react in a similar fashion each and every time I get a surprise from home, but damn, my body needed that yesterday. So happy. So satiated. 3 more weeks until I go home and hug my girls...They're going to have to hose me off of them.

Well, the Oscar's are coming up, and I'll be missing them. I think the Oscar's are my favorite awards shows and I feel so far away. But I've only seen a couple of the nominated films, but I'm dying to see Walk the Line and Hustle and Flow. Terrence Howard is so fine and I'm sure he deserves his nomination. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch these flicks when I'm at home.

Let's see...an awful scene unfolded in my ninensei shogakko class(2nd grade ES) yesterday. I was doing a mass review of all the things I had taught them since September and decided to play a game to get maximum participation (the row game). It's really simple; you answer a question and you get to choose which row or column will sit down. When I got to the last student, Taiti, the other kids were picking on him furiously because he was slow to say what kind of fruit was on the picture card (oranges, I think). They were just howling for blood. Then all of a sudden, Taiti screamed "baka!!! (stupid)" and started to cry. Huge, sorrowful, LOUD sobs. And he wouldn't stop. And for the first time since arriving in the classroom to teach, the room fell silent for more than 5 seconds. And he just stood there, making the most awful sound with his wetness dripping down his face onto his desk. And the teacher did nothing. If I had written this post yesterday, I would have commented on my personal opinion of the male Japanese teachers I've encountered. It would have included flashy examples and anecdotes, scathy commentary and a nice bow to wrap it all together. But since I'm in a phenomenal mood, I ain't going there.

Ahhh. 1 more hour until the official start of the weekend. I think it will be a good one.

Tata.

Devastatingly, achingly, wonderfully beautiful...

I just finished watching Dancer in the Dark, and I know I'm a bit late in watching this movie (okay, 6 years), but there are some movies you have to ease into and watch in your own time. For example, I haven't watched Boys Don't Cry because I know that will be a tour de force. It was the same with this movie. The only reason it's here and I watched it is because I bought it about 4 months ago on VHS at a Japanese video store for about 500 yen. Honestly, how could I not?

Dancer stars Bjork as a young Central Europeon woman who immigrates with her son to America in the 1950's. She's hardworking, has an amazing spirit, and is going blind. And the tragedy is that her son will suffer the same fate due to a genetic condition. However, there is hope for him in the form of an operation he must get by the time he is 13, but he must never know of her condition, or his own fate as it will exacerbate it. I won't go into details because it's something that should be experienced first hand, but the character development and story arch is one I haven't seen in a very long time. It is exquisitely heartbreaking and I haven't cried that much because of a film since Schindler's List and Requiem for a Dream. The emotional devestation is sublime and aching, but such a thing should not be missed. See it, for its atypical style, its moving story, and lush, affecting lyricism.

While I'm on the subject of reviews, I will also wholeheartedly recommend The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. I haven't seen the film (yet), but from what I've heard, I am sure that it will do justice to the book. Remains is a story of a kind of love that is more sorrowful than one that is unrequited for it is unacknowledged. It revolves around an English butler and a maid who spend years of their life in service and have a sense of obligation to to a Lord and a house, but not to themselves. It is written like how a beautiful ballet is performed. And while the climax is anything but, it is still heartwrenching and cardiac stopping. I loved this book for its restraint and it left me wanting, just like its characters.

Love is love. It's inside me and everywhere.

My body is confused...

It's early Saturday morning and my body is supposed to be recovering from the fun I had last night, sealed in a cocoon of futons and body heat. But instead, it's animated, fueled by Special K and obligation. I am at school today and I'm suffereing from major cognitive dissonance: I'm here, yet I'm not supposed to be. Everyone else is here as well, though the vibe is they much rather not be (or maybe this is just normal for them since they are Japanese teachers).

The reason for this weekend blasphemy is my 3rd grade JHS students will be graduating in a couple of weeks and there is a special PTA meeting and some kind of goodbye ceremonyl going on later in the day. But make no mistake - this is a real school day filled with classes (I have 3) and tests. But the good thing is I have daikyu on Monday, meaning the school will be closed + there will be an enkai tonight, and I plan on drinking copius amounts of sake to deaden the sting of the 5,000 yen charge.

I don't have any news to report so I'm just going to wax on about life at a Japanese JHS. This is my first experience in a junior high school, as there is no such thing in Montreal. There are 3 grades in a Japanese JHS: grades 1, 2 and 3, which is the equivalent to 7, 8 and 9. The kids run in age from 12 - 15, which is probably the toughest years of adolescence. Remember dealing with puberty, acne, unrequited love and algebra? No? That's nice. I'm reliving it here, but this time in a foreign language. Luckily, I only have to deal with 12 to 14 kids at any given time, not the average 40 most of my counterparts have.

The kids at Neo JHS are great - truly exceptional young 'uns who are polite, well behaved, friendly and bright. Maybe it has to do with the clean moutain air, or inaka living, but I've never once had a problem with these kids. That and they are maddingly good looking. I've never seen so many dimples in one place.

On an average day, you can find the kids here sometime before eight. I don't know the exact time because I only get here around 8:20, but I see them biking to school from my apartment. Their day is composed of 6 periods where they learn Japanese, English, music, social and moral studies, phys ed., math, science, homemaking, geography and other subjects I'm probably forgetting. They also have an elective class where they can choose conversational English, art, cooking and other things. They also have 35 minutes for lunch, 20 minutes free time, and 15 minutes for cleaning (I'll break these down in a bit). On top of that, they have to practice their musical instrument, the okarina, everyday because they participate in concerts in the Gifu area. They also have about 30 minutes at the end of the day for club activities where they can practice badminton, ping pong or kendo.

The middle part of the day is designated for eating, playing and cleaning, and with the exception of playing, the other components are completely different to school life in Canada. I've mentioned before that there is no cafeteria here. Instead, the school lunch is prepared at the kyushokku centre which is conveniently right next door to the school. Everyday around 11:30, containers containing the rice, protein, vegetable and soup components of the meal, as well as the milk and occasional dessert, arrive at the back of the school. While the cleaning lady takes care of the lunch for the for the kocho and kyoto senseis, and the teachers that don't have homerooms, the kids are responsible for picking up the containers, dishing out the servings, cleaning up after themselves, and delivering the containers. Each classroom has a designated team that rotates on a mysterious basis. Everything is in order right down to the number of plates, bowls and chopsticks. During lunch, the atmosphere is really laid back and it's a time when the kids can tease each other and the students and the teachers (including me) without fear of a reprisal. Things get pretty wild when there is a piece of fruit/fish/meat leftover because all the kids that want whatever there is must settle things by janken (rock, paper, scissors). For those who don't know, everything in Japan comes down to janken. I'm sure major deals and policies have been made by janken. Sometimes, when there is something that I want (always fruit), I get in on the janken, but I've always lost (so far).

Shortly after lunch, the kids break up into groups of 3 or 4, with minimum 1 from each grade, and go to their designated rooms for soji, which is Japanese for cleaning. This is where it's really different from Canada because as opposed to having janitors who clean the whole school, the kids do it. I think it's really great because it teaches the kids to take responsibility for their surroundings because they know that if they mess something up, they'll just have to clean it later. Soji can probably also be thanked for the stark cleanliness of Japan. Dan in Japan just posted a really good commentary about this that you can find here: http://ds777.blogspot.com/2006/02/wednesday-night-fever.html

It didn't take very long for me to get completely used to the routine of the school day and I love interacting with the kids. During today's sayonara ceremony for the 3rd graders, I actually started tearing up because I realized that in a few weeks, these kids, all 14 of them, will be gone and the school won't be the same without them. Soon, I'll have to say goodbye to Mamie, Mai, Rie, Honami, Aki, Akari, Yuki, Tsubasa, Takahiro, Keisuke, Kyohei, Kota, Kazuyuki, and Koji. I'm going to miss them asking me what "pimping" means and having them be my translators during lunch hour. I've only known them for 6 months (since September), but I'm going to miss them. I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to this year's 2nd grade when they leave next year because I've gotten even more close with them.


A bientot.

Earthquakes big and small...

We had an earthquake here that registered from my mountain village to the city centre. It was my first large earthquake, and it wasn't even that bad because it registered between 3 and 4 on the Richter scale (apparently the highest magnitude is an 8). I was in bed having just fallen asleep and I felt the shaking. At first, I had to shake off the sleep drunkeness and was momentarily awed by this extraordinary sensation. This quickly gave way to fear when I remembered that I was sleeping under my seemingly heavy ceiling light. I sprang up, fully aware that I had some difficulty walking in a straight line and made my way to my door frame (I remember this training from elementary school, I think). While I was holding unto the frame white knuckled, or as white knuckled as I could possibly be, I wondered if I should turn off the gas. And then it stopped. Yeah, I was freaked, I admit it. But Shi and Dave made me feel better and I was relieved that it wasn't bigger. I can't help to think about all those people who died in Kobe 6 years ago, and the lives that were lost in my village 100 years ago. I think I've already mentioned that Neo lies on a fault line. Goo-dy. Also, a quick survey of my apartment revealed fallen photos and shifted items. Luckily, no cracks.

Had a great weekend though. Headed up to Ena to see Dave, where I recharged my batteries by watching Family Guy episode after episode, watching a couple of movies including Batman Begins, which I thought was phenominal, and eating a little too well. The work week begins again tomorrow and I feel good about it. I have to work this Saturday and go to an enkai after it, but I plan on spending Sunday and my day off on Monday relaxing, reading and possibly baking in my apartment for the first time. I'm really looking forward to the baking then eating part.

I'm getting hungry so I'm going to heat up some leftovers and watch my bootleg DVD of Memoirs of a Geisha. Before I go, here's a nice pic of a notoriously infamous Japanese dirty little secret: the underwear vending machine. Yes boys and girls, for either 3,500, 7,000 or a whopping 10,000 yen, you too can buy panties worn by a cute little schoolgirl. Doesn't it just make you want to puke?

The first bite is the nastiest...

After living in Japan for nearly 7 months, I finally did it - I ate natto. For those of you that are unfamiliar to natto, it is nasty ass, sticky, fermented beans. I failed to bring my camera to school yesterday, but you can see pics of it here (taken from Yamada3 Flickr site): http://flickr.com/photos/yamada3/59250366/

This wasn't the first time I encountered natto: The first time was a few months ago at the JHS (which incidentally, was where I did the deed yesterday), and I just flat out passed on it. The kids were eating it and I swear, I felt the bile rising. I've read so much about it, that it felt like I've already tried it. So when the principal called me over while he was eating it and asked me if I'd be willing to try it, I said no thank you. But then I changed my mind for a few reasons. I'll try to explain as best as I can:

For a little while, I've been riding the culture shock wave, probably from sometime while I was in China. It's been up and down since then and while I've felt like things were going up and I was getting better, I'd have a crash. They were usually subtle but there were there. I have been working on getting out of this funk and I felt like I finally succeeded yesterday. At first, I didn't think Monday would be a good day because my mind was racing from the moment I got up about things too personal to write about in a public blog (the main reason why I haven't posted for a little while). Even though the day was beautiful, I couldn't really see any of it because I was lost in my own headspace. When it rose into a fine mental crescendo, I decided to take out my paper and pen and just write a manifesto of sorts. I felt my heart rate lowering and my mind clearing. And that's when I decided to live in today, worry about the future later, and find my faith again. Shortly after that, I decided to eat THE NATTO. I know trying something different is really what life is all about and this was totemo chigau (super different).

See natto just isn't a culinary adventure, it is also an exercise in physical prowess. You get a dixie cup sized portion of the food and you peel off the cover. Right away you'll notice the sticky-cum-snotty consistency and it would be too easy to get turned off. But you gotta perservere.

Next, there is a liquid packet you must open and pour into the cup. Then you mix. And mix. And mix some more. After a sufficient time has passed, you can add the fish flakes. I'm not sure how usual this ingredient is in eating natto, but we had it yesterday. Fish flakes are strong in smell, but more subtle in taste. So you pour it in, and mix again. Then you should be ready to chow down.

Ok, I gotta admit that the first bite was disgusting. The stringy and slimy textures did not bode well for my Western stomach. I thought I was going to upchuck into poor Ami-chan's tray. It also didn't help that I didn't eat rice yesterday with the school lunch, which seems to take the edge off the natto, but I kept chowing down. And you know what? It progessively got better. It wasn't great, but I didn't die. I actually felt proud of myself, and my kids that I was pretty cool too.

The day ended well, even though there is a full on flu pandemic at both schools now and half of my classes were cancelled and first and third graders were sent home. Before I left school, I decided to get off my ass and do 30 minutes of cross country skiing in the school's field. It felt great! I felt so alive. I feel whole again.

So here I am. Sitting in my living room, somewhere between contentment, a regular routine, and wishing for Canada. I'm knackered because I went to the Tomidaya grocery store after school because I'm out of food. I don't usually venture anywhere during the week because the sun goes down about 5:45 now, but I needed to be independent plus I was hungry. It took about an hour round trip (by train) to do a modest grocery store run and I'm tired. Proud, but tired. I gotta get off this thing to watch an episode of Degrassi downloaded for me by David in preparation for my 3rd grade JHS class tomorrow. Yes, that's work.

Later.

Oh yeah, I know about that weird space at the top of this blog. I don't know how to fix it and it happened to Dancing Chaos, and according to her, it eventually went away. So we'll see.

I feel the light returning...

Wow - did I ever need that. January was a hell of a month, and not in a good way. The last leg of the China trip, returning to cold and moist conditions inside the apartment, getting sick, and battling homesickness and another cycle in the culture shock tornado all made for a less than stellar Kaki. But support from abroad and closer to this new home, as well as a self-inflicted kick in my own ass, got me working on seeing my world with my eyes wide open again. Some people were a little worried about me and I can honestly say I'm fine. Even stars dim from time to time. But I think this weekend, actually, I know, this weekend rejuvinated me, mind, body and spirit.

I guess it started on Thursday night when I got an unexpected phone call from Shauna. It's nice to be going about your business (in my case, I was getting ready for bed), and have someone who loves you ring up and brighten your life. We carried on like I was 10 km down the road, rather than 14 hours away.

On Friday, I was feeling particularly anemic at the end of the day and I came home with sheep in my eyes, but too tired/restless to sleep. I scoured the internet for god knows what and decided that I really needed to take a nap in order to wash my (oh so difficult) hair and make dinner. Just after I made a ragtag bed on the tatami did Todd call (another unexpected phone call) and we started to hammer out details for his trip here. After a while on the phone, and then another call from David, it became painfully obvious that sleep was not to be had.

I disconnected with the motivation to simulatenously prepare dinner (spaghetti) and wash my hair in the kitchen sink when I turned on the TV for a little company, and lo and behold, the Golden Globes were on. Being a reformed awards show junkie, I felt the familiar thrill of watching the rich, famous and talented collect awards for movies and TV. Heroin for my celebrity obsessed soul. And as much as I delighted in rekindling this love affair, I was upset that I've missed so many interesting and attractive movies. I made a mental note to check out the movie listings for the (relatively) nearby theatre, and continued with my multi-tasking.

Nearly 2 hours later, after my brillant meal was consumed and the awards/fashion show/Brokeback Mountain love-in was finished, I was still on the sofa with a towel wrapped around my now moist hair. I was also waiting for Aya to call so we could have our planned phone catch up. She was late and I was waning, but when she did get through, I got my energy back up. I heard her son in the background and felt like I was there, even though I've never seen him in the flesh. When I talk or email to my girls in THE CORE, I truly feel like I'm back home in Montreal - lunching in Ogilvy's, promenading on Ste. Catherine, driving to Carrefour Laval and going for brunch on Sunday mornings. Can you tell that I'm looking forward to going home? I'm not planning on sleeping while I'm there.

After a long while on the phone, I was physically tired (so much so that I dragged my futon into the living home, slept in my lounge clothes, and reveled in the warmth of my kerosene heater), but mentally stimulated. These two things equaled a restless sleep. But I had to get up early to go to Nagoya to get my hair hooked up. My networking with the closest Black guy came through and I had an appointment with Heather in Nagoya. We talked on the phone for a while and I like her vibe. The fact that she was charging me NOTHING also put a spring on my step.

So I got my ass in gear and headed off to the train, where I'd be meeting Ed several stops down. He was there and we went for coffee and eats. We also made our respective travel plans and everything is solidifed for me now. He decided to come with me to Nagoya and play in the denki (electronics) store while I did my beauty thing. It was really nice to get some alone time with the "old boy", and made me remember how awesome I think he is.

After a wee mishap with the subway line, I met Heather on her block and she gave me a hug! I've never met her before so it was a bit of a shock, but it was a nice shock - one that was warm and wanted.

We went back to her cozy (read - cozy, not small) and gabbed for a bit. Soon after, Kenton, who I had met at the Gifu Japanese where I had volunteered a few months back, came over. Heather started my hair, and over the next four hours, we talked, laughed, ate a delicious lunch Heather had prepared, watched 24 and got to know each other. She took her time braiding my hair and I didn't mind because she is so darned nice. I had a a feeling that she would be so I bought her some Valentine's Day chocolates because I knew her man wouldn't be with her, since he lives in Toronto. She then told me that her bday is on V-day, so a double "boo-ya" for me.

After waxing poetic on our favourite stores in Canada an the U.S. (Jacob and Bath and Body Works (FYI), I had to go to meet Ed and Shi to move on to the next part of the day. We hooked up and made our way to the movie theatre to watch Munich. Let me tell you: this movie is soul-stirring, thought-provoking and riveting. I'll try really hard to post about it, but check it out on line. I was thinking about for 2 days. My hope is that I can see all the Oscar nominated films here in Japan.

Our minds stimulated, we moved on the Shiloh's to decompress and have a good old sleepover. Let's just say there was some wine, a lap top full of pictures, some self-revalation and a lot of positive energy. We went to sleep way too late, but the fruits of our discussions were well worth it.

The next morning, we headed to a temple in Shiloh's town for a Setsubun festival (see previous post). The short of it was I got to really experience Japanese culture again, from a view not seen by foreigners. But the best thing about it was that I got to walk on fire. Honestly. Part of the tradition is that the "elders" build a huge pyre, light it on fire, then smash it down after a while. Then everyone who wants to can walk on it. Initially, I wasn't going to do it because my foot was aching and I was still getting over being sick. But something in me told me to. Maybe it was becase Shi, Ed and Ryan had lined up to do it and I didn't want to miss out on the experience. Maybe it was because I saw little kids and grandmas lining up to do it. Or maybe it was because the whole thing seemed greater than me and my ailments, and who was I to pass up this experience? So I did it, and something shifted in me. The gloom had officially passed.

Things only get better when we went shopping for dinner and I saw one of the kids I met at the elementary school I visited. I don't think I can ever forget him: he has some kind of degenerative muscle condition that prohibits him from walking on his own. But he always had a huge smile on his face and wanted me to talk to him about Canada and point out things in his "Canada" book (in Japanese, of course). So when I saw him, I went to ask him if he remembered me and he said "Na- Kaki sensei", and I thought my knees were going to buckle right then. Tangible proof that I meant something to someone. I will never forget that and have something to remember when I'm feeling low.

And that's it. Just when I thought I couldn't get anymore detailed, I've surpassed my expectations. Thanks for reading and thanks for letting me share. I needed the release.

Save, delete, save, delete...

Sometimes I wished I had a tiny disk inserted in my brain so I could record my thoughts then when I got home, I could plug the USB into my head and upload. I've had so many good thoughts and feeling over the past 48 hours, but I've gone and done lost them. Shucks. I guess I'll have to give it my best shot...

In a recent post, I mentioned that I received the responses to my 3rd and 4th grade students' xmas letters from dear old Santa. Yesterday, I informed the grade 4 teacher, who also happens to be my neighbour, who also happens to be a half-wit in the classroom and in social outings (well, with me anyway), and to my surprise, he seemed happy. He made a photocopy of the rather long letter (which I don't have with me right now - it's at school) and asked me translate it into Japanese for his class. With a huge gulp, I did what I was told and translated a nearly one page exercise in jibberish xmas speak (signed by incarcerated baddies, no doubt), into a succinct, typically Japanese efficient, 3 lined synopsis. With a hoarse voice and a low level of confidence in my Japanese speaking abilities, I did my best infront of a tough crowd: 10 year olds. Usually, these kids are nuts, but as they sat enraptured by my ghetto fab Japanese, my confidence grew, and I spoke slowly and emphasized certain parts. Then I was finished. In like, 2 minutes. Then one of the usual ring leaders started CLAPPING. Then others followed suit, and then the whole class erupted in frenzied clapping with shouts of "sugoi (awesome)!" and "subarashi (wonderful)!" And they were just blown away, which blew my ass out because I thought their hearts would never thaw to me. But I was wrong, so freaking, mercifully wrong. And then we had a great lesson and I left with my eyebrows raised. Wonders never cease.

Later that day, their teacher told me that when he was their age 20 years ago, he did the same exercise and when he received the response, he was as excited and happy as his class was yesterday. He said the letter meant so much to him that he still has it in the original envelope in a box at home. I think he got nervous as he observed my agape face.

The other day, when I basically boo hooed in a post, Stacy told me to keep my head up because these kids would remember for years to come and I was making an impact on their lives, even if I couldn't see it right now. At the time, it cheered me up and gave me that little extra push. Yesterday, it kicked my ass down the stairs. And guess what? It felt good. Thank you 4th graders, thank you Sakae-sensei and thank you Stacy. I needed that.

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Today is Setsubun in Japan, which is the day before Spring. Apparently Spring will be here in 1.5 hours, however no one told the 3 feet of snow still hanging around town. On the day of Setsubun, people partake in mamemaki, which is throwing beans at demons to chase out bad karma. After they shoo away evil, they take some fish and impale them on a stick and put them outside their front door. Then they sit down at the kitchen table, grab a sheet of nori (seaweed), put some rice on it, spread some egg and other stuff on it, roll it up like a great, big sushi roll and proceed to eat it in the south-east direction. Gosh, I hope I got that right. My second and third grade students, with the help of the JTE, filled me in on this uniquely Japanese experience this morning. Unfortunately, no one invited me to their home to see if it was true, so I have to assume it was all lies. Just kidding. I asked a couple of kids and no one does the fish thing anymore, but apparently it's pretty common place in my village.

Tsukareta desu. Neitai. Mata ne.
I'm tired. I want to sleep. Later.

BTW, FYI Flow, my ref. to "Turning Japanese" really had nothing to the do with the song, ergo, nothing to do with maturbation. You're a nasty, nasty man. And now everyone in the whole world knows. All 5 people who read my blog.

Okay, quick update: My downstairs neighbour, the music teacher at the JHS, just came to my apartment to give me some honey ginger tea (which I've been wanting for months now, but kept forgetting to look for it), half of a peeled apple, with the other half wrapped up for break fast tomorrow, and a whole pot of ginger honey. I've always heard of JETs' neighbours checking on them while they were sick, and I guess my turn came. I feel cared for, like my own mom was here. Anyways, that's my "chicken soup for the soul" moment.

Transmission out.

Fear of a white mask...

I think I'm going Japanese, I think I'm going Japanese, I really think so. I've been feeling shitty since Monday, and when I woke up on Tuesday, I knew I had a full blown cold. So I decided to follow my co-workers leads and protect them from my germs by wearing a mask. It worked out pretty well yesterday because I was at the elementary school, and no joke, about 80% of them was wearing a mask. I also found out that there is a full blown flu pandemic at school and kids have been dropping like flies. Of course, this is worrisome to me since I can't afford to get sick like that right now, so I was taking extra precautions. But by the end of the day, I felt sick to my stomach and achy all over, so I left at like 4:31.

This morning, I felt a bit better because I went to bed really early, but my cold was severe. So I fastened on the mask and did my business at the JHS. I got a whole bunch of "Kaki-sensei, kaze desu ka?" and while I wanted to say, no, I'm not sick, I just like the contrast of the white, white mask, against my dark, dark skin, I simply replied that I was in fact sick. Well, their concern turned into something far more sinister. They were insistent, to the point of great discomfort for me, that I go to the hospital. Well, if you remember, I went to the neighbourhood hospital several months ago to get my cut finger repaired and observed the obvious differences between Japanese and Canadian hospitals. I was not eager to repeat this experience. But several teachers tried to convince me and after much polite yet forceful Japanese pushing, I caved and said I would go, but if it was just a cold, I would come back to school. I didn't want to go out like a sucka, especially since these folks are here every day, in sickness and in health. I'm sure they'd even come to school if they had Ebola. Well, the science teacher actually took me aside and said she was really sorry, but it was a really important time of year for the 3rd grade JHS students because they were getting ready for entrance exams and had to be in peak physical and mental condition, and I should take care of myself and think about them. Really, how could I argue with that? So I did what I was told and did the hospital thing. I don't have "infurenza", they stuck a nasty piece of gauze coated with something that looked like iodine but tasted like roasted shit down my throat, gave me three types of drugs to take 3 times a day, charged me 1100 yen (about 14$ CAD) and sent me on my merry way.

But I'm in better spirits now; I made myself a very nice lunch of gyozas, pan friend veggies and brown rice, sent off a few emails, did some internet research, had a bit of a nice nap, had a good chat with David, and stared at my flowers for a while. The colours really make me feel good.

I also watched today's State of the Union Address from Dubya and going to look up what exactly is the U.S. Patriot Act, because when he said he wanted to initiate it again, Hilary Clinton had such a look of sheer disbelief on her face that it intrigued me. I'm also thinking about Bradgelina's pregnancy and how it's possible for these people to have pinned the tail on the donkey so quickly. Seriously, don't people take proper birth control precautions anymore? I'm also still a little shocked about finding out that Japan has a terrible AIDS problem, apparently one of the worst in the industrialized world. And I am absolutely perturbed that I haven't seen any of the movies that are Oscar nominees. I've fallen off. Damn Japan and their limited release of English movies! Joking, joking. OK, half joking.

Oh yeah, I received a stack on envelopes from the "North Pole" today. Before xmas, I got my 4th grade ES kids to write letters to Santa, and I really did send them to him (Canada has a program where kids can write to Santa and he'll write back). I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they receive their bonafide letters from Santa himself. Even if they can see through the bullshit, I'm sure they'll be stoked at actually receiving a reply.

Later.