I feel the light returning...

Wow - did I ever need that. January was a hell of a month, and not in a good way. The last leg of the China trip, returning to cold and moist conditions inside the apartment, getting sick, and battling homesickness and another cycle in the culture shock tornado all made for a less than stellar Kaki. But support from abroad and closer to this new home, as well as a self-inflicted kick in my own ass, got me working on seeing my world with my eyes wide open again. Some people were a little worried about me and I can honestly say I'm fine. Even stars dim from time to time. But I think this weekend, actually, I know, this weekend rejuvinated me, mind, body and spirit.

I guess it started on Thursday night when I got an unexpected phone call from Shauna. It's nice to be going about your business (in my case, I was getting ready for bed), and have someone who loves you ring up and brighten your life. We carried on like I was 10 km down the road, rather than 14 hours away.

On Friday, I was feeling particularly anemic at the end of the day and I came home with sheep in my eyes, but too tired/restless to sleep. I scoured the internet for god knows what and decided that I really needed to take a nap in order to wash my (oh so difficult) hair and make dinner. Just after I made a ragtag bed on the tatami did Todd call (another unexpected phone call) and we started to hammer out details for his trip here. After a while on the phone, and then another call from David, it became painfully obvious that sleep was not to be had.

I disconnected with the motivation to simulatenously prepare dinner (spaghetti) and wash my hair in the kitchen sink when I turned on the TV for a little company, and lo and behold, the Golden Globes were on. Being a reformed awards show junkie, I felt the familiar thrill of watching the rich, famous and talented collect awards for movies and TV. Heroin for my celebrity obsessed soul. And as much as I delighted in rekindling this love affair, I was upset that I've missed so many interesting and attractive movies. I made a mental note to check out the movie listings for the (relatively) nearby theatre, and continued with my multi-tasking.

Nearly 2 hours later, after my brillant meal was consumed and the awards/fashion show/Brokeback Mountain love-in was finished, I was still on the sofa with a towel wrapped around my now moist hair. I was also waiting for Aya to call so we could have our planned phone catch up. She was late and I was waning, but when she did get through, I got my energy back up. I heard her son in the background and felt like I was there, even though I've never seen him in the flesh. When I talk or email to my girls in THE CORE, I truly feel like I'm back home in Montreal - lunching in Ogilvy's, promenading on Ste. Catherine, driving to Carrefour Laval and going for brunch on Sunday mornings. Can you tell that I'm looking forward to going home? I'm not planning on sleeping while I'm there.

After a long while on the phone, I was physically tired (so much so that I dragged my futon into the living home, slept in my lounge clothes, and reveled in the warmth of my kerosene heater), but mentally stimulated. These two things equaled a restless sleep. But I had to get up early to go to Nagoya to get my hair hooked up. My networking with the closest Black guy came through and I had an appointment with Heather in Nagoya. We talked on the phone for a while and I like her vibe. The fact that she was charging me NOTHING also put a spring on my step.

So I got my ass in gear and headed off to the train, where I'd be meeting Ed several stops down. He was there and we went for coffee and eats. We also made our respective travel plans and everything is solidifed for me now. He decided to come with me to Nagoya and play in the denki (electronics) store while I did my beauty thing. It was really nice to get some alone time with the "old boy", and made me remember how awesome I think he is.

After a wee mishap with the subway line, I met Heather on her block and she gave me a hug! I've never met her before so it was a bit of a shock, but it was a nice shock - one that was warm and wanted.

We went back to her cozy (read - cozy, not small) and gabbed for a bit. Soon after, Kenton, who I had met at the Gifu Japanese where I had volunteered a few months back, came over. Heather started my hair, and over the next four hours, we talked, laughed, ate a delicious lunch Heather had prepared, watched 24 and got to know each other. She took her time braiding my hair and I didn't mind because she is so darned nice. I had a a feeling that she would be so I bought her some Valentine's Day chocolates because I knew her man wouldn't be with her, since he lives in Toronto. She then told me that her bday is on V-day, so a double "boo-ya" for me.

After waxing poetic on our favourite stores in Canada an the U.S. (Jacob and Bath and Body Works (FYI), I had to go to meet Ed and Shi to move on to the next part of the day. We hooked up and made our way to the movie theatre to watch Munich. Let me tell you: this movie is soul-stirring, thought-provoking and riveting. I'll try really hard to post about it, but check it out on line. I was thinking about for 2 days. My hope is that I can see all the Oscar nominated films here in Japan.

Our minds stimulated, we moved on the Shiloh's to decompress and have a good old sleepover. Let's just say there was some wine, a lap top full of pictures, some self-revalation and a lot of positive energy. We went to sleep way too late, but the fruits of our discussions were well worth it.

The next morning, we headed to a temple in Shiloh's town for a Setsubun festival (see previous post). The short of it was I got to really experience Japanese culture again, from a view not seen by foreigners. But the best thing about it was that I got to walk on fire. Honestly. Part of the tradition is that the "elders" build a huge pyre, light it on fire, then smash it down after a while. Then everyone who wants to can walk on it. Initially, I wasn't going to do it because my foot was aching and I was still getting over being sick. But something in me told me to. Maybe it was becase Shi, Ed and Ryan had lined up to do it and I didn't want to miss out on the experience. Maybe it was because I saw little kids and grandmas lining up to do it. Or maybe it was because the whole thing seemed greater than me and my ailments, and who was I to pass up this experience? So I did it, and something shifted in me. The gloom had officially passed.

Things only get better when we went shopping for dinner and I saw one of the kids I met at the elementary school I visited. I don't think I can ever forget him: he has some kind of degenerative muscle condition that prohibits him from walking on his own. But he always had a huge smile on his face and wanted me to talk to him about Canada and point out things in his "Canada" book (in Japanese, of course). So when I saw him, I went to ask him if he remembered me and he said "Na- Kaki sensei", and I thought my knees were going to buckle right then. Tangible proof that I meant something to someone. I will never forget that and have something to remember when I'm feeling low.

And that's it. Just when I thought I couldn't get anymore detailed, I've surpassed my expectations. Thanks for reading and thanks for letting me share. I needed the release.