There are so many things...

I want to write about everything I've seen, I've felt, I've smelled. The days are falling so quickly into each other and I'm struggling to keep up. Like on Sunday, I went shopping with a student and her mom and we went to one of those smoky game centres to have our photo taken in a booth. I had so much fun posing with her and then decorating our pictures on the interactive photo selector. Now I have memories of a really cool day with a really cool girl forever. Or, when I saw a family of Black people in a super cheap Winner's-type store. It was almost cliche that I saw Black people in a discount store. For a moment I thought I was back home. Or today when K-sensei made a girl cry in front of me. I hate tears from people I don't know, but this was especially bad because this girl basically just failed a test, so getting a "pep" talk from the English teacher was probably the last thing she wanted to hear.

I want to tell you that I'm getting blisters on my hands and feet from kendo practice today. I want to describe how liberating it was to scream and brandish a wooden sword. I also want to tell you how much I like my english conversation class members and what kind of treats they bring me. Or howI didn't go to badminton last night but still managed to get some treats that where distributed there. I also want to tell you how I went jogging two days in a row and how my ass muscles hurt and how much I love it.

I want to describe the emotions that went through my body when I found out that there may be a slight chance that I could be transferred to another school if I were to recontract. How my thought pattern is these days and how much I'm loving the person I am and becoming, while realizing a few important things about other people - "my, myself and I, that's all I got in the end". Or how much my Japanese is progressing and how rapidly my English is disentegrating.

I want to write about finding out that one of my sister's friends died a violent death in a club last week. How sad I am for his family and how grateful I am for mine. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with my thoughts about love, life, future, money, sex, time, hair, things, work, happiness and what the fuck it all means.

But I'm so tired. My shoulders hurt from being hunched over my computer. I should stay home this weekend, I know I should but it is looking less likely.