I'm feeling like a used whoopee cushion...

You know how a whooppee cushion is tons of fun when it's inflated and full of air? It has the capacity to make people laugh, but once it is used, you gotta blow it up again to have fun? (I just realized that this nearly describes a blow up doll). Anyways, I'm feeling like that whooppee cushion - I'm feeling depressed. Not "I NEED A PROZAC!!!" depressed, but the kind where I'm feeling just flat. I'm failing at living in the moment and am constantly thinking ahead - ahead to spring/summer, a trip home, trip to Okinawa - anywhere but the here and now! I know that it's just temporary, but I'm really just looking forward to when this will pass. On top of everything, I'm getting sick. I'm hoping to bypass a real nasty cold by fighting it, so wish me luk!

So I've noticed that a few things are irking me, but not in a particularly negative or bad way. Let me explain: At my elementary school, one of the things I've implemented in my classes is beginning each lesson by individually asking each of my kids how they are. Grades 1 -3 are well versed in all the human emotions and provide feelings that are far removed from "I'm fine, thank you." I get "I'm great!", "I'm happy", "I'm tired...", but I also get a lot of "I'm thirsty!", "I'm hungry!", and "I'm very, very cold!" (I also get the occasional "I'm angry!", but that's another story). People, you don't know what it does to me when I see these sweet, infantile, sparkly eyed, nose running faces and hear them say that they are cold and/or hungry. See, in Japan, children don't have snacks during the day - it's only lunch. So, that means from 8 - 12:30, they don't eat or drink a thing. And we all know how kids are - they are wild and full of energy! They really don't stop for a break, even during recess! There is always some physical training. Right now it's group skipping practice. It's work, work, work!!! I remember back in the day, we'd have snacks and milk during recess. Remember the Varton (?) big assed cookies? My fave were the oatmeal ones. And who could forget cheese and crackers? Damn. But my kids don't eat shit. It makes me really sad. I know it's a cultural thing, but I can't go more than 3 hours without a snack. Poor lil babies.

Oh gosh, then there is the freaking cold inside the classrooms. Sure, the kerosene heaters are on sometimes, but it's still too freaking cold. I tell my co-workers that if this was Canada, everyone would be jailed for child abuse. They laugh because they think I'm funny. I don't because it's true. Jesus help me. 2 more months...

Another thing irking my ass is the way English is taught here, and in particular, at my JHS. My JTE is a nice lady and she has a good rapport with kids, and more importantly, with me. But her shortcomings as a JTE were evident last week when the 6th graders and their parents came to check out our English class. No joke, she spoke in Japanese the entire time, giving the wrong impression that our English class is really given in Japanese. I said like 2 words for the entire class. This usually isn't the case and I do get to do quite a lot in the class, but I don't know if she was nervous or what, but it bugged the shit out of me. It also brought me to a very important conclusion - I can't be an ALT or a ESL teacher after JET is done. I feel very strongly about education and I love being a "teacher", but I have trouble seeing the trees through the forest. I know what the goal is, but I can't really say that the results are that obvious to me. I can't see myself teaching prepositions, tenses, verbs, etc, for the rest of my days. But I'm extremely envious of the subject/homeroom teachers. I think about the possibility of having a class of my own teaching a subject I love (most likely English lit or possibly sociology) and it excites me. But the bottom line is being a ALT or ESL teacher, especially in Japan, wouldn't suit me. But I'm loving the world of teaching.

There are other irksome things, but I forget them right now. But there are still things that warm my heart. For example, when the 6th graders came over, they were introduced to the okarina, which is a wind instrument that looks like a seashell (I'll post a pic soon).

All the JHS students have to play this instrument and they practice about twice a day, everyday, and they play concerts and generally take their show on the road. Anyway, the whole school gathered in the ice cold gym and formed 9 groups - one for each of the 6th graders (!!!) and basically peer taught them the okarina. It was really sweet and the patience, seriousness and helpfulness of the students demonstrated that inaka(country) kids are the best.

Well, had a good weekend, aside from all that. David came over and we went to Shiloh's costume/pot luck party and had a blast. It was awesome being in her cozy apartment and chatting and laughing it up in the warmth of friends - new and old. I'll let the pictures do the talking cuz I'm off to bed!






















Hostess Shi and me, little yukata girl.
















Some of the party people.






















Stalin and his mistress.















Nighty night. (5 in the bed, and the little one said "Stop that fucking snoring!")