Year 1 in Japan: A Retrospective...

Before leaving Montreal to come to Japan, I was repeatedly warned that this experience would change me in numerous ways, some big and some not so big. I believed my friends and was open to changes. I had some things to improve on in my life and was looking forward to leaving a city that didn't hold anything new and exciting for me...just more of the same old, same old. Of course, my friends and family were my anchors, but sometimes, you just need to float along by yourself to make things happen. So I took a big chance and did something totally foreign for me - I left security. I had a permanent job with benefits, autonomy and a certain degree of power, a car and the fast track to owning my own condominium apartment. I was almost THERE, but I had to be honest with myself and say that it wasn't enough. I've never lived in a different country and I've never explored a culture radically different from my own. Life in Montreal was fun, don't get me wrong, but it just felt so...small. I used to think that MTL was the centre of the universe and you couldn't get me to change my mind. But after about 2 years of living in Montreal, having returned from university in Ottawa, and visiting Ghana and Japan, I finally realized that there was more to see. After my friend Cheryl moved to Japan on a whim and told me about her experiences, and then seeing an ad for JET in the Concordia student paper, I went to the information session to see what was what. It certainly sounded good so I applied and waited the 5 months to finally hear that I got in.
I moved from dreaming to planning in no time and spent the months between February (when I heard about it) to July (when I boarded the plane) getting myself together: I went to Cuba, I got surgery to correct a long time problem, I got my braces off and I bought tons of clothes and beauty supplies. I said my tearful goodbyes (I lost it at my Sayonara BBQ) and left. Now, a year later, I think I'm ready to share with you what I've learned and how I've changed to date (in no particular order of importance):

1. Being illiterate ain't no joke. Imagine not being to be able to read anything, understand anything, be able to communicate. Having to stop and figure out which bathroom you can enter or what's what at the grocery store. Imagine trying to find your way around town and having NO idea what the characters mean. A year in, I'm not fluent nor can I read everything, but I'm a helluva lot better. I can put some words together and have them make sense. I can figure out a couple of kanji in a phrase and put two and two together (sometimes). I can write little notes in Japanese and not be worried about the meaning being lost. Being illiterate here has made me more aware of the plight of Canadians who can't read or write. But Jesus Christ, if I can go from English to Japanese (I most definitely do not have a head for languages), others can too. They just need the right motivation - like wanting to eat food or leave their house (so not trying to be glib here).

2. I actually like kids. And I can get along with them. Maybe one day, I'll have a few of my own.

3. I don't like to be constantly reminded that I'm Black (AKA a superfreak). I know I'm Black. I have mirrors in my apartment and pictures of myself everywhere. I know I'm different. I just don't like to have absolute strangers point it out at the supermarket, restaurants, toilets, festivals, on the train, you get the idea. I had one girl, one of my elementary students, tell me it was a pity that my skin was so dark. I'm confident in who I am and in my darkness, but goddammit, stop the insanity! (No need to comment about this point unless you want to piss me off). Also, unless you're a close friend looking for a bit of cross-cultural understanding, I don't want to fucking hear about which hip hop artists you like, how you like to get "crunked", and asking me who is better: Cube or Dre.

4. Despite the previous point, I've become a more patient person. You kind of have to be to express yourself in a foreign language and deal with the same questions/statments over and over: you can use chopsticks! can you eat fish? you're so tall! (I'm only 5'7" - barely). do you like rice? I just smile and vent later rather than launching into a sermon on the evils of cultural insulation.
5. I'm strong. Stronger than I ever thought. I don't mean to brag, but it's a testament to one's will and strength to live in a foreign country. I'm so proud of myself.

6. Living abroad has given me valuable insight to what my parent's went through when they left Ghana for Montreal over 30 years ago. They left behind the English/Ga/Twi and traded it in for an unstable French environment. It was hard for them, but now I better understand and love them even more.

7. Since making the decision to go natural (hairstyle), I've found a new definition of beauty for myself and in turn, acceptance. I don't need to conform the mainstream's idea of beauty as it is skewed, particularly for women of African descent. I touch my kinky hair and am awed by its loveliness. I look at myself and see new power in my eyes, nose, lips. I feel like I'm finally who I'm supposed to be and I love it. Geez, I had to come to Japan (with their bare representation of Black people) to finally GET this.

8. I hate, hate, hate bus tours. I've been on two - one to Kyoto and the other to Tottori. Never fucking again.

9. I've learned the power of taking time out just to breathe. My eyes are open all the time, and for the most part, I like what I'm seeing. Without this time, I doubt I would have figured out what career I want to pursue and taking the steps to realize my dream. Plus, having the chance to just read, without distraction has been blissful.

10. In my village, like other towns and cities in Japan, we have time chimes, to signify what time of day it is. At 7:00 a.m. I wake up to Edelweiss (I shit you not), at noon, I can hear the sweet sound of the ocarina, and at 6:00 (5:00 in the winter), I can hear Moon River. Other time chimes can't compare. I can't live without them now.

11. I've learned (finally) that more often than not, it's better to leave things in the past and just let go entirely. The lessons must remain, but the memories associated with the lessons are better left in the past.

12. Food. I really love good food. This is not something new.

13. A travel lust has been awakened inside me. Visiting China and living in Japan is just the tip of the iceberg.

14. I've finally found what I've been looking for, and it's nourishing, beautiful and all mine. Refer to the previous post for a clue.

15. I've changed in the way I let the actions and words of other people sit in my mind. Where I used to obsess over these things, I chew on them for a little while and spit out the fat while ingesting the good stuff. Really, living in this country forces you to let a lot of things simply roll off your back.

16. A smile goes such a long, long way. Being friendly, courteous, understanding, open and outgoing has made this placement reach its full potential.

I feel like I've come a long way from the days I would just cry in my living room, feeling the cold eclipse of homesickness all over me. My days and nights are much more full and my calendar is full of circles and stars and memos. I'm extremely blessed to have such an amazing support network from coast to coast, and in Canada, New York and Ghana. The Motosu and Ono crew have made so happy and been friends in ways I didn't expect. But the most surprising thing for me, the thing that I would never have predicted happening was meeting the Scotsman. Can I really explain it all now, on this public space? I would prefer not to. But he knows. And I know. And that's all that matters.