My body is confused...

It's early Saturday morning and my body is supposed to be recovering from the fun I had last night, sealed in a cocoon of futons and body heat. But instead, it's animated, fueled by Special K and obligation. I am at school today and I'm suffereing from major cognitive dissonance: I'm here, yet I'm not supposed to be. Everyone else is here as well, though the vibe is they much rather not be (or maybe this is just normal for them since they are Japanese teachers).

The reason for this weekend blasphemy is my 3rd grade JHS students will be graduating in a couple of weeks and there is a special PTA meeting and some kind of goodbye ceremonyl going on later in the day. But make no mistake - this is a real school day filled with classes (I have 3) and tests. But the good thing is I have daikyu on Monday, meaning the school will be closed + there will be an enkai tonight, and I plan on drinking copius amounts of sake to deaden the sting of the 5,000 yen charge.

I don't have any news to report so I'm just going to wax on about life at a Japanese JHS. This is my first experience in a junior high school, as there is no such thing in Montreal. There are 3 grades in a Japanese JHS: grades 1, 2 and 3, which is the equivalent to 7, 8 and 9. The kids run in age from 12 - 15, which is probably the toughest years of adolescence. Remember dealing with puberty, acne, unrequited love and algebra? No? That's nice. I'm reliving it here, but this time in a foreign language. Luckily, I only have to deal with 12 to 14 kids at any given time, not the average 40 most of my counterparts have.

The kids at Neo JHS are great - truly exceptional young 'uns who are polite, well behaved, friendly and bright. Maybe it has to do with the clean moutain air, or inaka living, but I've never once had a problem with these kids. That and they are maddingly good looking. I've never seen so many dimples in one place.

On an average day, you can find the kids here sometime before eight. I don't know the exact time because I only get here around 8:20, but I see them biking to school from my apartment. Their day is composed of 6 periods where they learn Japanese, English, music, social and moral studies, phys ed., math, science, homemaking, geography and other subjects I'm probably forgetting. They also have an elective class where they can choose conversational English, art, cooking and other things. They also have 35 minutes for lunch, 20 minutes free time, and 15 minutes for cleaning (I'll break these down in a bit). On top of that, they have to practice their musical instrument, the okarina, everyday because they participate in concerts in the Gifu area. They also have about 30 minutes at the end of the day for club activities where they can practice badminton, ping pong or kendo.

The middle part of the day is designated for eating, playing and cleaning, and with the exception of playing, the other components are completely different to school life in Canada. I've mentioned before that there is no cafeteria here. Instead, the school lunch is prepared at the kyushokku centre which is conveniently right next door to the school. Everyday around 11:30, containers containing the rice, protein, vegetable and soup components of the meal, as well as the milk and occasional dessert, arrive at the back of the school. While the cleaning lady takes care of the lunch for the for the kocho and kyoto senseis, and the teachers that don't have homerooms, the kids are responsible for picking up the containers, dishing out the servings, cleaning up after themselves, and delivering the containers. Each classroom has a designated team that rotates on a mysterious basis. Everything is in order right down to the number of plates, bowls and chopsticks. During lunch, the atmosphere is really laid back and it's a time when the kids can tease each other and the students and the teachers (including me) without fear of a reprisal. Things get pretty wild when there is a piece of fruit/fish/meat leftover because all the kids that want whatever there is must settle things by janken (rock, paper, scissors). For those who don't know, everything in Japan comes down to janken. I'm sure major deals and policies have been made by janken. Sometimes, when there is something that I want (always fruit), I get in on the janken, but I've always lost (so far).

Shortly after lunch, the kids break up into groups of 3 or 4, with minimum 1 from each grade, and go to their designated rooms for soji, which is Japanese for cleaning. This is where it's really different from Canada because as opposed to having janitors who clean the whole school, the kids do it. I think it's really great because it teaches the kids to take responsibility for their surroundings because they know that if they mess something up, they'll just have to clean it later. Soji can probably also be thanked for the stark cleanliness of Japan. Dan in Japan just posted a really good commentary about this that you can find here: http://ds777.blogspot.com/2006/02/wednesday-night-fever.html

It didn't take very long for me to get completely used to the routine of the school day and I love interacting with the kids. During today's sayonara ceremony for the 3rd graders, I actually started tearing up because I realized that in a few weeks, these kids, all 14 of them, will be gone and the school won't be the same without them. Soon, I'll have to say goodbye to Mamie, Mai, Rie, Honami, Aki, Akari, Yuki, Tsubasa, Takahiro, Keisuke, Kyohei, Kota, Kazuyuki, and Koji. I'm going to miss them asking me what "pimping" means and having them be my translators during lunch hour. I've only known them for 6 months (since September), but I'm going to miss them. I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to this year's 2nd grade when they leave next year because I've gotten even more close with them.


A bientot.

Earthquakes big and small...

We had an earthquake here that registered from my mountain village to the city centre. It was my first large earthquake, and it wasn't even that bad because it registered between 3 and 4 on the Richter scale (apparently the highest magnitude is an 8). I was in bed having just fallen asleep and I felt the shaking. At first, I had to shake off the sleep drunkeness and was momentarily awed by this extraordinary sensation. This quickly gave way to fear when I remembered that I was sleeping under my seemingly heavy ceiling light. I sprang up, fully aware that I had some difficulty walking in a straight line and made my way to my door frame (I remember this training from elementary school, I think). While I was holding unto the frame white knuckled, or as white knuckled as I could possibly be, I wondered if I should turn off the gas. And then it stopped. Yeah, I was freaked, I admit it. But Shi and Dave made me feel better and I was relieved that it wasn't bigger. I can't help to think about all those people who died in Kobe 6 years ago, and the lives that were lost in my village 100 years ago. I think I've already mentioned that Neo lies on a fault line. Goo-dy. Also, a quick survey of my apartment revealed fallen photos and shifted items. Luckily, no cracks.

Had a great weekend though. Headed up to Ena to see Dave, where I recharged my batteries by watching Family Guy episode after episode, watching a couple of movies including Batman Begins, which I thought was phenominal, and eating a little too well. The work week begins again tomorrow and I feel good about it. I have to work this Saturday and go to an enkai after it, but I plan on spending Sunday and my day off on Monday relaxing, reading and possibly baking in my apartment for the first time. I'm really looking forward to the baking then eating part.

I'm getting hungry so I'm going to heat up some leftovers and watch my bootleg DVD of Memoirs of a Geisha. Before I go, here's a nice pic of a notoriously infamous Japanese dirty little secret: the underwear vending machine. Yes boys and girls, for either 3,500, 7,000 or a whopping 10,000 yen, you too can buy panties worn by a cute little schoolgirl. Doesn't it just make you want to puke?

The first bite is the nastiest...

After living in Japan for nearly 7 months, I finally did it - I ate natto. For those of you that are unfamiliar to natto, it is nasty ass, sticky, fermented beans. I failed to bring my camera to school yesterday, but you can see pics of it here (taken from Yamada3 Flickr site): http://flickr.com/photos/yamada3/59250366/

This wasn't the first time I encountered natto: The first time was a few months ago at the JHS (which incidentally, was where I did the deed yesterday), and I just flat out passed on it. The kids were eating it and I swear, I felt the bile rising. I've read so much about it, that it felt like I've already tried it. So when the principal called me over while he was eating it and asked me if I'd be willing to try it, I said no thank you. But then I changed my mind for a few reasons. I'll try to explain as best as I can:

For a little while, I've been riding the culture shock wave, probably from sometime while I was in China. It's been up and down since then and while I've felt like things were going up and I was getting better, I'd have a crash. They were usually subtle but there were there. I have been working on getting out of this funk and I felt like I finally succeeded yesterday. At first, I didn't think Monday would be a good day because my mind was racing from the moment I got up about things too personal to write about in a public blog (the main reason why I haven't posted for a little while). Even though the day was beautiful, I couldn't really see any of it because I was lost in my own headspace. When it rose into a fine mental crescendo, I decided to take out my paper and pen and just write a manifesto of sorts. I felt my heart rate lowering and my mind clearing. And that's when I decided to live in today, worry about the future later, and find my faith again. Shortly after that, I decided to eat THE NATTO. I know trying something different is really what life is all about and this was totemo chigau (super different).

See natto just isn't a culinary adventure, it is also an exercise in physical prowess. You get a dixie cup sized portion of the food and you peel off the cover. Right away you'll notice the sticky-cum-snotty consistency and it would be too easy to get turned off. But you gotta perservere.

Next, there is a liquid packet you must open and pour into the cup. Then you mix. And mix. And mix some more. After a sufficient time has passed, you can add the fish flakes. I'm not sure how usual this ingredient is in eating natto, but we had it yesterday. Fish flakes are strong in smell, but more subtle in taste. So you pour it in, and mix again. Then you should be ready to chow down.

Ok, I gotta admit that the first bite was disgusting. The stringy and slimy textures did not bode well for my Western stomach. I thought I was going to upchuck into poor Ami-chan's tray. It also didn't help that I didn't eat rice yesterday with the school lunch, which seems to take the edge off the natto, but I kept chowing down. And you know what? It progessively got better. It wasn't great, but I didn't die. I actually felt proud of myself, and my kids that I was pretty cool too.

The day ended well, even though there is a full on flu pandemic at both schools now and half of my classes were cancelled and first and third graders were sent home. Before I left school, I decided to get off my ass and do 30 minutes of cross country skiing in the school's field. It felt great! I felt so alive. I feel whole again.

So here I am. Sitting in my living room, somewhere between contentment, a regular routine, and wishing for Canada. I'm knackered because I went to the Tomidaya grocery store after school because I'm out of food. I don't usually venture anywhere during the week because the sun goes down about 5:45 now, but I needed to be independent plus I was hungry. It took about an hour round trip (by train) to do a modest grocery store run and I'm tired. Proud, but tired. I gotta get off this thing to watch an episode of Degrassi downloaded for me by David in preparation for my 3rd grade JHS class tomorrow. Yes, that's work.

Later.

Oh yeah, I know about that weird space at the top of this blog. I don't know how to fix it and it happened to Dancing Chaos, and according to her, it eventually went away. So we'll see.

I feel the light returning...

Wow - did I ever need that. January was a hell of a month, and not in a good way. The last leg of the China trip, returning to cold and moist conditions inside the apartment, getting sick, and battling homesickness and another cycle in the culture shock tornado all made for a less than stellar Kaki. But support from abroad and closer to this new home, as well as a self-inflicted kick in my own ass, got me working on seeing my world with my eyes wide open again. Some people were a little worried about me and I can honestly say I'm fine. Even stars dim from time to time. But I think this weekend, actually, I know, this weekend rejuvinated me, mind, body and spirit.

I guess it started on Thursday night when I got an unexpected phone call from Shauna. It's nice to be going about your business (in my case, I was getting ready for bed), and have someone who loves you ring up and brighten your life. We carried on like I was 10 km down the road, rather than 14 hours away.

On Friday, I was feeling particularly anemic at the end of the day and I came home with sheep in my eyes, but too tired/restless to sleep. I scoured the internet for god knows what and decided that I really needed to take a nap in order to wash my (oh so difficult) hair and make dinner. Just after I made a ragtag bed on the tatami did Todd call (another unexpected phone call) and we started to hammer out details for his trip here. After a while on the phone, and then another call from David, it became painfully obvious that sleep was not to be had.

I disconnected with the motivation to simulatenously prepare dinner (spaghetti) and wash my hair in the kitchen sink when I turned on the TV for a little company, and lo and behold, the Golden Globes were on. Being a reformed awards show junkie, I felt the familiar thrill of watching the rich, famous and talented collect awards for movies and TV. Heroin for my celebrity obsessed soul. And as much as I delighted in rekindling this love affair, I was upset that I've missed so many interesting and attractive movies. I made a mental note to check out the movie listings for the (relatively) nearby theatre, and continued with my multi-tasking.

Nearly 2 hours later, after my brillant meal was consumed and the awards/fashion show/Brokeback Mountain love-in was finished, I was still on the sofa with a towel wrapped around my now moist hair. I was also waiting for Aya to call so we could have our planned phone catch up. She was late and I was waning, but when she did get through, I got my energy back up. I heard her son in the background and felt like I was there, even though I've never seen him in the flesh. When I talk or email to my girls in THE CORE, I truly feel like I'm back home in Montreal - lunching in Ogilvy's, promenading on Ste. Catherine, driving to Carrefour Laval and going for brunch on Sunday mornings. Can you tell that I'm looking forward to going home? I'm not planning on sleeping while I'm there.

After a long while on the phone, I was physically tired (so much so that I dragged my futon into the living home, slept in my lounge clothes, and reveled in the warmth of my kerosene heater), but mentally stimulated. These two things equaled a restless sleep. But I had to get up early to go to Nagoya to get my hair hooked up. My networking with the closest Black guy came through and I had an appointment with Heather in Nagoya. We talked on the phone for a while and I like her vibe. The fact that she was charging me NOTHING also put a spring on my step.

So I got my ass in gear and headed off to the train, where I'd be meeting Ed several stops down. He was there and we went for coffee and eats. We also made our respective travel plans and everything is solidifed for me now. He decided to come with me to Nagoya and play in the denki (electronics) store while I did my beauty thing. It was really nice to get some alone time with the "old boy", and made me remember how awesome I think he is.

After a wee mishap with the subway line, I met Heather on her block and she gave me a hug! I've never met her before so it was a bit of a shock, but it was a nice shock - one that was warm and wanted.

We went back to her cozy (read - cozy, not small) and gabbed for a bit. Soon after, Kenton, who I had met at the Gifu Japanese where I had volunteered a few months back, came over. Heather started my hair, and over the next four hours, we talked, laughed, ate a delicious lunch Heather had prepared, watched 24 and got to know each other. She took her time braiding my hair and I didn't mind because she is so darned nice. I had a a feeling that she would be so I bought her some Valentine's Day chocolates because I knew her man wouldn't be with her, since he lives in Toronto. She then told me that her bday is on V-day, so a double "boo-ya" for me.

After waxing poetic on our favourite stores in Canada an the U.S. (Jacob and Bath and Body Works (FYI), I had to go to meet Ed and Shi to move on to the next part of the day. We hooked up and made our way to the movie theatre to watch Munich. Let me tell you: this movie is soul-stirring, thought-provoking and riveting. I'll try really hard to post about it, but check it out on line. I was thinking about for 2 days. My hope is that I can see all the Oscar nominated films here in Japan.

Our minds stimulated, we moved on the Shiloh's to decompress and have a good old sleepover. Let's just say there was some wine, a lap top full of pictures, some self-revalation and a lot of positive energy. We went to sleep way too late, but the fruits of our discussions were well worth it.

The next morning, we headed to a temple in Shiloh's town for a Setsubun festival (see previous post). The short of it was I got to really experience Japanese culture again, from a view not seen by foreigners. But the best thing about it was that I got to walk on fire. Honestly. Part of the tradition is that the "elders" build a huge pyre, light it on fire, then smash it down after a while. Then everyone who wants to can walk on it. Initially, I wasn't going to do it because my foot was aching and I was still getting over being sick. But something in me told me to. Maybe it was becase Shi, Ed and Ryan had lined up to do it and I didn't want to miss out on the experience. Maybe it was because I saw little kids and grandmas lining up to do it. Or maybe it was because the whole thing seemed greater than me and my ailments, and who was I to pass up this experience? So I did it, and something shifted in me. The gloom had officially passed.

Things only get better when we went shopping for dinner and I saw one of the kids I met at the elementary school I visited. I don't think I can ever forget him: he has some kind of degenerative muscle condition that prohibits him from walking on his own. But he always had a huge smile on his face and wanted me to talk to him about Canada and point out things in his "Canada" book (in Japanese, of course). So when I saw him, I went to ask him if he remembered me and he said "Na- Kaki sensei", and I thought my knees were going to buckle right then. Tangible proof that I meant something to someone. I will never forget that and have something to remember when I'm feeling low.

And that's it. Just when I thought I couldn't get anymore detailed, I've surpassed my expectations. Thanks for reading and thanks for letting me share. I needed the release.

Save, delete, save, delete...

Sometimes I wished I had a tiny disk inserted in my brain so I could record my thoughts then when I got home, I could plug the USB into my head and upload. I've had so many good thoughts and feeling over the past 48 hours, but I've gone and done lost them. Shucks. I guess I'll have to give it my best shot...

In a recent post, I mentioned that I received the responses to my 3rd and 4th grade students' xmas letters from dear old Santa. Yesterday, I informed the grade 4 teacher, who also happens to be my neighbour, who also happens to be a half-wit in the classroom and in social outings (well, with me anyway), and to my surprise, he seemed happy. He made a photocopy of the rather long letter (which I don't have with me right now - it's at school) and asked me translate it into Japanese for his class. With a huge gulp, I did what I was told and translated a nearly one page exercise in jibberish xmas speak (signed by incarcerated baddies, no doubt), into a succinct, typically Japanese efficient, 3 lined synopsis. With a hoarse voice and a low level of confidence in my Japanese speaking abilities, I did my best infront of a tough crowd: 10 year olds. Usually, these kids are nuts, but as they sat enraptured by my ghetto fab Japanese, my confidence grew, and I spoke slowly and emphasized certain parts. Then I was finished. In like, 2 minutes. Then one of the usual ring leaders started CLAPPING. Then others followed suit, and then the whole class erupted in frenzied clapping with shouts of "sugoi (awesome)!" and "subarashi (wonderful)!" And they were just blown away, which blew my ass out because I thought their hearts would never thaw to me. But I was wrong, so freaking, mercifully wrong. And then we had a great lesson and I left with my eyebrows raised. Wonders never cease.

Later that day, their teacher told me that when he was their age 20 years ago, he did the same exercise and when he received the response, he was as excited and happy as his class was yesterday. He said the letter meant so much to him that he still has it in the original envelope in a box at home. I think he got nervous as he observed my agape face.

The other day, when I basically boo hooed in a post, Stacy told me to keep my head up because these kids would remember for years to come and I was making an impact on their lives, even if I couldn't see it right now. At the time, it cheered me up and gave me that little extra push. Yesterday, it kicked my ass down the stairs. And guess what? It felt good. Thank you 4th graders, thank you Sakae-sensei and thank you Stacy. I needed that.

**********************************************************************

Today is Setsubun in Japan, which is the day before Spring. Apparently Spring will be here in 1.5 hours, however no one told the 3 feet of snow still hanging around town. On the day of Setsubun, people partake in mamemaki, which is throwing beans at demons to chase out bad karma. After they shoo away evil, they take some fish and impale them on a stick and put them outside their front door. Then they sit down at the kitchen table, grab a sheet of nori (seaweed), put some rice on it, spread some egg and other stuff on it, roll it up like a great, big sushi roll and proceed to eat it in the south-east direction. Gosh, I hope I got that right. My second and third grade students, with the help of the JTE, filled me in on this uniquely Japanese experience this morning. Unfortunately, no one invited me to their home to see if it was true, so I have to assume it was all lies. Just kidding. I asked a couple of kids and no one does the fish thing anymore, but apparently it's pretty common place in my village.

Tsukareta desu. Neitai. Mata ne.
I'm tired. I want to sleep. Later.

BTW, FYI Flow, my ref. to "Turning Japanese" really had nothing to the do with the song, ergo, nothing to do with maturbation. You're a nasty, nasty man. And now everyone in the whole world knows. All 5 people who read my blog.

Okay, quick update: My downstairs neighbour, the music teacher at the JHS, just came to my apartment to give me some honey ginger tea (which I've been wanting for months now, but kept forgetting to look for it), half of a peeled apple, with the other half wrapped up for break fast tomorrow, and a whole pot of ginger honey. I've always heard of JETs' neighbours checking on them while they were sick, and I guess my turn came. I feel cared for, like my own mom was here. Anyways, that's my "chicken soup for the soul" moment.

Transmission out.

Fear of a white mask...

I think I'm going Japanese, I think I'm going Japanese, I really think so. I've been feeling shitty since Monday, and when I woke up on Tuesday, I knew I had a full blown cold. So I decided to follow my co-workers leads and protect them from my germs by wearing a mask. It worked out pretty well yesterday because I was at the elementary school, and no joke, about 80% of them was wearing a mask. I also found out that there is a full blown flu pandemic at school and kids have been dropping like flies. Of course, this is worrisome to me since I can't afford to get sick like that right now, so I was taking extra precautions. But by the end of the day, I felt sick to my stomach and achy all over, so I left at like 4:31.

This morning, I felt a bit better because I went to bed really early, but my cold was severe. So I fastened on the mask and did my business at the JHS. I got a whole bunch of "Kaki-sensei, kaze desu ka?" and while I wanted to say, no, I'm not sick, I just like the contrast of the white, white mask, against my dark, dark skin, I simply replied that I was in fact sick. Well, their concern turned into something far more sinister. They were insistent, to the point of great discomfort for me, that I go to the hospital. Well, if you remember, I went to the neighbourhood hospital several months ago to get my cut finger repaired and observed the obvious differences between Japanese and Canadian hospitals. I was not eager to repeat this experience. But several teachers tried to convince me and after much polite yet forceful Japanese pushing, I caved and said I would go, but if it was just a cold, I would come back to school. I didn't want to go out like a sucka, especially since these folks are here every day, in sickness and in health. I'm sure they'd even come to school if they had Ebola. Well, the science teacher actually took me aside and said she was really sorry, but it was a really important time of year for the 3rd grade JHS students because they were getting ready for entrance exams and had to be in peak physical and mental condition, and I should take care of myself and think about them. Really, how could I argue with that? So I did what I was told and did the hospital thing. I don't have "infurenza", they stuck a nasty piece of gauze coated with something that looked like iodine but tasted like roasted shit down my throat, gave me three types of drugs to take 3 times a day, charged me 1100 yen (about 14$ CAD) and sent me on my merry way.

But I'm in better spirits now; I made myself a very nice lunch of gyozas, pan friend veggies and brown rice, sent off a few emails, did some internet research, had a bit of a nice nap, had a good chat with David, and stared at my flowers for a while. The colours really make me feel good.

I also watched today's State of the Union Address from Dubya and going to look up what exactly is the U.S. Patriot Act, because when he said he wanted to initiate it again, Hilary Clinton had such a look of sheer disbelief on her face that it intrigued me. I'm also thinking about Bradgelina's pregnancy and how it's possible for these people to have pinned the tail on the donkey so quickly. Seriously, don't people take proper birth control precautions anymore? I'm also still a little shocked about finding out that Japan has a terrible AIDS problem, apparently one of the worst in the industrialized world. And I am absolutely perturbed that I haven't seen any of the movies that are Oscar nominees. I've fallen off. Damn Japan and their limited release of English movies! Joking, joking. OK, half joking.

Oh yeah, I received a stack on envelopes from the "North Pole" today. Before xmas, I got my 4th grade ES kids to write letters to Santa, and I really did send them to him (Canada has a program where kids can write to Santa and he'll write back). I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they receive their bonafide letters from Santa himself. Even if they can see through the bullshit, I'm sure they'll be stoked at actually receiving a reply.

Later.

I'm feeling like a used whoopee cushion...

You know how a whooppee cushion is tons of fun when it's inflated and full of air? It has the capacity to make people laugh, but once it is used, you gotta blow it up again to have fun? (I just realized that this nearly describes a blow up doll). Anyways, I'm feeling like that whooppee cushion - I'm feeling depressed. Not "I NEED A PROZAC!!!" depressed, but the kind where I'm feeling just flat. I'm failing at living in the moment and am constantly thinking ahead - ahead to spring/summer, a trip home, trip to Okinawa - anywhere but the here and now! I know that it's just temporary, but I'm really just looking forward to when this will pass. On top of everything, I'm getting sick. I'm hoping to bypass a real nasty cold by fighting it, so wish me luk!

So I've noticed that a few things are irking me, but not in a particularly negative or bad way. Let me explain: At my elementary school, one of the things I've implemented in my classes is beginning each lesson by individually asking each of my kids how they are. Grades 1 -3 are well versed in all the human emotions and provide feelings that are far removed from "I'm fine, thank you." I get "I'm great!", "I'm happy", "I'm tired...", but I also get a lot of "I'm thirsty!", "I'm hungry!", and "I'm very, very cold!" (I also get the occasional "I'm angry!", but that's another story). People, you don't know what it does to me when I see these sweet, infantile, sparkly eyed, nose running faces and hear them say that they are cold and/or hungry. See, in Japan, children don't have snacks during the day - it's only lunch. So, that means from 8 - 12:30, they don't eat or drink a thing. And we all know how kids are - they are wild and full of energy! They really don't stop for a break, even during recess! There is always some physical training. Right now it's group skipping practice. It's work, work, work!!! I remember back in the day, we'd have snacks and milk during recess. Remember the Varton (?) big assed cookies? My fave were the oatmeal ones. And who could forget cheese and crackers? Damn. But my kids don't eat shit. It makes me really sad. I know it's a cultural thing, but I can't go more than 3 hours without a snack. Poor lil babies.

Oh gosh, then there is the freaking cold inside the classrooms. Sure, the kerosene heaters are on sometimes, but it's still too freaking cold. I tell my co-workers that if this was Canada, everyone would be jailed for child abuse. They laugh because they think I'm funny. I don't because it's true. Jesus help me. 2 more months...

Another thing irking my ass is the way English is taught here, and in particular, at my JHS. My JTE is a nice lady and she has a good rapport with kids, and more importantly, with me. But her shortcomings as a JTE were evident last week when the 6th graders and their parents came to check out our English class. No joke, she spoke in Japanese the entire time, giving the wrong impression that our English class is really given in Japanese. I said like 2 words for the entire class. This usually isn't the case and I do get to do quite a lot in the class, but I don't know if she was nervous or what, but it bugged the shit out of me. It also brought me to a very important conclusion - I can't be an ALT or a ESL teacher after JET is done. I feel very strongly about education and I love being a "teacher", but I have trouble seeing the trees through the forest. I know what the goal is, but I can't really say that the results are that obvious to me. I can't see myself teaching prepositions, tenses, verbs, etc, for the rest of my days. But I'm extremely envious of the subject/homeroom teachers. I think about the possibility of having a class of my own teaching a subject I love (most likely English lit or possibly sociology) and it excites me. But the bottom line is being a ALT or ESL teacher, especially in Japan, wouldn't suit me. But I'm loving the world of teaching.

There are other irksome things, but I forget them right now. But there are still things that warm my heart. For example, when the 6th graders came over, they were introduced to the okarina, which is a wind instrument that looks like a seashell (I'll post a pic soon).

All the JHS students have to play this instrument and they practice about twice a day, everyday, and they play concerts and generally take their show on the road. Anyway, the whole school gathered in the ice cold gym and formed 9 groups - one for each of the 6th graders (!!!) and basically peer taught them the okarina. It was really sweet and the patience, seriousness and helpfulness of the students demonstrated that inaka(country) kids are the best.

Well, had a good weekend, aside from all that. David came over and we went to Shiloh's costume/pot luck party and had a blast. It was awesome being in her cozy apartment and chatting and laughing it up in the warmth of friends - new and old. I'll let the pictures do the talking cuz I'm off to bed!






















Hostess Shi and me, little yukata girl.
















Some of the party people.






















Stalin and his mistress.















Nighty night. (5 in the bed, and the little one said "Stop that fucking snoring!")

It’s been a rollercoaster lately…

One day, I’ll be skipping and hopping merrily to and from school, then the next day I’m furiously contemplating where I will live next, then the next day I’m sniffling into the phone, moaning about the winter blues. I’m sure these rapid mood changes can be attributed to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder – it’s very real thank you very much, Google it), my consistently frozen state inside my apartment, and a little PMS thrown in for good measure. But I’m working through it. I’ve decide to re-integrate exercise into my life full time (right now it’s 3 times a week in the morning before school – I will be slowly moving up to 5 days a week), which seems to be helping, and I’m eating better so I’m feeling physically more genki. I’m also taking in the physical beauty surrounding me every day and being grateful for the great situation I have. It truly is just one day at a time. So simple, but also so difficult…

So, I’ve been a little busy and a little out of it, so I’ve failed to update you on the personal going ons in my life. On January 15, I had my first earthquake here in Neo. I think it was about a 2 or 3 on the scale and while it lasted only a few seconds, it was enough to rattle me slightly. It was funny because David had just left me and I was watching Lord of War (thanks Dal – it was excellent), when my sliding door starting rattling. I thought “who the hell is slamming the door so hard that my doors are moving??”, then I realized that the whole building was moving, and consequently, so was I. And when the full realization hit me, the earthquake ended. My cheeks were flushed with fear, and I was having heart palpitations and the silence was echoing in my ears. I called David because he was driving home at the time it happened, but he didn’t answer the phone (he was alright – he didn’t even feel it). Anyway, at school the next day, everyone was nonplussed, but it took me about a day to get over the shock that this was just a baby tremor and we’re due for a big one sometime this century. Tanoshimi (can’t wait).

I’m also ecstatic to report that I will be a godmother! Shauna san bestowed this honour upon me recently (somewhat unbeknownst to me – damn you email! I mean, I love you!), and when I go home for a brief visit, we’ll make it official. That’s new too: I’ve booked my ticket to visit home so that means I’ll get to meet the new babies, eat multicultural food, go shopping and actually buy clothes that fit my bootylicious body, and hug and talk to my peeps. Honto no tanoshimi (really can’t wait). I’ve actually started making a list of all the things I will do. I’ve also decided that I will be getting a car when I come back.

In other news, I had two days off work this week due to a mid-year conference on Monday and an interactive foreign teacher day at a nearby ES. It was fun that I got to meet other ALTs and hang out with new kids, but it really solidified how lucky I feel about working in such small schools. I was sent to the first grade class today, and each grade has two classes. The class that I was in had about 30 kids! At Neo ES, the most I’ll have is 17 with the average being 12. And I know all my kids’ names, at both schools. God, sure I’m a bit isolated, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And with the arrival of my car in the near future, I’ll be much more mobile. Japanese classes during the week! A movie too! Being able to go out without having to sleep at anyone’s place! To be free again! Oh, what a feeling, I’ll be dancing on the ceiling (ref?).

Oh, but I’ve digressed. In addition to meeting ALTs from all over the world today (Canada, America, Australia, UK, Indonesia, India, Bangladesh), I met the person who replaced Aussie Dave (my predecessor), and guess what! He’s Black! And he’s a dread! And we started talking about hair (NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK), and apparently he knows a girl who braids hair in Nagoya. Though I’ve decided to chop off my hair and go natural (perhaps I’ll start a blog about that journey), I’d like to get my hair braided now before I go home. I called this one African chick in Nagoya and she had the fucking balls to try to charge me $280 with hair, $190 if I bring my own, and $100 for simple cornrows. Ok, to put it in perspective, I usually pay $60 back home (AT MOST), and I paid $110 to a chick in Hyogo. This was ludicrous and I told her I’ve never paid that much to get my hair done, and I ain’t about to start now. I told my mom about the sheer lunacy and my mom said I should tell her to go back to Africa! (Before you jump on me and try to get all PC, let me just remind you that I’m African-Canadian and my mom just got back from her trip there. If you still don’t understand, you should have just been there). Anyway, hair issues – meh.

And that’s all I’m going to share for today. Enjoy these pics from our ES yuki ga matsuri (snow fest) the other day. The kids were overjoyed by the new snowfall that lead to the start of the fest while I was praying that it would all disappear before David comes for the weekend. It’s Thursday now, so I’ll hopefully get my wish.
This is my team. They were so dedicated and hard working. So much so that I could hardly keep up. When I injured myself by bashing my knee with the handle of my shovel, they came to my rescue and made snowballs to put on it. I love my kids.



This is a pic of one of my first graders. He broke his leg over the winter holidays, but is still as genki and bright as ever. The vice principal carried him out at the end so he could partake in the festivities. Here is clapping after some speeches. Such a sweetheart.















Keep emailing me and encouraging me because a little goes a long way. I spoke to my mom today for the first time in about 6 weeks (she was in Ghana), and she sent me plenty of good vibes. And tomorrow is Friday then Shiloh is having a costume pot luck on Saturday. Should be awesome. Will report on it later.

One last thing – I’m sending a shot out to David and Shiloh. These two have been there for me so much over the last few months (and I hope I’ve returned the favour), and I feel so lucky to have them in my life. They are so encouraging, so giving, so funny and so warm and cozy, while possessing the frankness and seriousness I need to give balance to my life. Last weekend, a whole gang of us when bowling and out for dinner, and while it was nice to catch up with everyone after our holiday, it was especially nice to be with these guys. There’s so much I want to say about Shiloh and David, but I save the real important stuff for our conversations. I heart them so much. Thank god they are both staying another year. I Looking forward to many more days and nights of laughter, tomfoolery and stimulating talks. And can’t wait to climb Fuji with you (that’s another post).

Latah.

China has become the 800 lb gorilla on my back:



January 3-7, 2006

Ok, this is the point in the vacation where things really went downhill for me. Shanghai was really beautiful, but I had about enough of China and the bone chilling weather. The train ride to Shanghai was pretty much the final nail in the coffin:

“Here we are, back on the train again, and I rather be anywhere, including that dingy ass hotel room in Peking, then be on this fucking train again. Firstly, it’s dirty. Like the sheets have been re-used dirty. The toilets are appallingly awful – moist floors, stagnant water, horrific bowls (if I see another brick in the bowl, I’ll scream). The service staff is rude when they are not indifferent. I’ve never experienced such horrible service/racism before. Deplorable and does nothing of my impression of China…”

But to be fair, Shanghai did have a lot going for it: The Shanghai Zoo (saw my first monkeys, including a chimpanzee and gorilla, and my first panda), famous skyline (simply breathtaking at night), cheap bootleg DVDs, and modernity.

In the end, I was just tired of the otherworldliness and my nerves were raw from too much culture shock:

“…I don’t think I’ve ever had such strong feelings towards an entire country. The people were perhaps the worst thing about thing about the whole trip – the spitting, the rubbish, the lack of courtesy to their fellow human, the rampant unfriendliness, the outright rudeness, the aggressiveness, the lack of warmth. Granted, we were in the most populated parts of the country, but coming from an industrialized W. country (Canada) via an industrialized E. country (Japan), I was just shocked at how mean (for lack of a better word) this place was.”

It’s all over now and I left China with a sense of gratitude for where I was born and raised, and for where I am now living. I’m sure plenty of people would disagree of my assessment of the cities I visited, and frankly, I don’t care. I saw what I saw and did what I did, and this was my experience. I did it and now I know, and knowing is half the battle (ref?).

Here are some pics - Enjoy!

December 30, 2005

Today’s Menu:

Explore Macau (no specific agenda)



Travel to Hong Kong from Macau by ferry

Highlights: Discovering the diamond in the rough in Macau, setting eyes on the Hong Kong landscape for the first time at night

Lowlights: Losing my beautiful, pink fake croc, Ralph Lauren cosmetic case with my contacts, Tweezerman tweezers, a cool toothbrush, and loads of beautiful and sentimental jewelry. It hurt. Fawk.

Excerpt from journal: “We are on the ferry returning to Hong Kong from Macau. Though our stay in Macau was brief, it was lovely, due in large part to our fine hotel, the Pousada de Mong Ha, which is run by tourism students. It was absolutely beautiful with its highly varnished floors, crisply made beds with duvets, a lazyboy with an ottoman, a beautiful floor to ceiling mirror, a glass shower and an office area. I was quite happy considering the deplorable accommodations in Beijing (grimace).”

We didn’t have time to fully explore our surroundings as we arrived fairly late, and the temptation of cable was too much for us to deny. We did venture out and found a vegetarian restaurant for dinner, but we returned to our hotel to be slovenly. It was around this point that I found out that my cosmetic case was missing. I was devastated, so much so that I actually cried. A lot of memories were tied up in that sexy RL cosmetic case. It broke my heart…

Today started out well in the fact that we had a nice breakfast – eggs, baked beans, bacon, sausages, whole wheat buns, cereal, skim milk – the works. Satisfying…We decided to do a little walking to the center of the city and I was pleasantly surprised by what we found.

After walking for a little while through grimy, smoggy, motorbike infested streets, the town opened up into the commercial district. Bling bling left, right and center. Serious gold, diamonds and platinum, but still out of reach even with the good exchange rate. But the center was beautiful – Portuguese styled buildings, paved roads and sidewalks, a town square – my desire to go to Europe ripened in this city. Macau demonstrated its charms and vivacity. We even went to church and got some spirituality. We visited St. Joseph’s, which is Teresa’s church back in New Zealand, and she got to do what she had to do. Myself, I got to slow down and reconnect with God (it’s been a while). Though we have frequent conversations, it was nice to back in the House again, especially at this time of year.

After church, we headed back to the square to do a little bit more investigating. We were not disappointed. From the bleakness of the streets came the glory of affordable commercialism. At our second store, we hit pay dirt and proceeded to go crazy. We each bought two pairs of shoes; I bought a lovely brown, rounded toe specimen with three multicoloured circles on the side. Delicious. The other pair had a beautiful burgundy and green flower on the toe, and the shoe itself was a deep burgundy/dark chocolate brown colour. Deeeelightful!…”

December 30, 2005 – January 2, 2006

Menu:

Exploring Hong Kong

Cheap shopping

Eatin’
Chilling in our executive suite


Enjoying the early summer-like weather

Highlights: The phat hotel room (ooh baby, yeah, that’s the freakin spot), the cleanliness and friendliness of the city, bilingualism, the subway system, Li Yuen E. & W. shopping streets, the fine weather.

Lowlights: Lack of interesting sights, expensive, Victoria’s Peak, having to stay an extra night in our posh hotel due to a change in the train schedule.

Aside from the positives of the city, there wasn’t much to see or do in Hong Kong. I really wanted to go to a particular monastery to see a huge, golden Buddha, but we ran out of time somehow. I didn’t even really take any pictures. But it was nice to be in warm weather. Must do warm/hot next winter vacation.

December 27, 2005

Today’s Menu:

Biking around Old Beijing





























Beijing Drum Tower















Dumplings Lunch

Lama Temple















Temple of Heaven Park






























Gorging on Peking Duck



Highlights: Going native and biking around town, watching the banging of the drum, partaking in the echo experiment at the Temple of Heaven Park, having one last taste of Peking Duck

Lowlights: Being all templed out, saying goodbye to Wang Yi

This was our last day and Beijing and I was both happy and hesitant to leave. Beijing has beautiful architecture and a grand history, but it’s dirty, depressingly old in some areas and teeming with swelling, aggressive masses. Would I return to Beijing again? I’d have to say no. Though I was there for only 5 days, it was enough for me. I got to see the famous sites, interact with the local people, sample the local dishes, engage in colourful bargaining and bought memorabilia. Selon moi, Peking is not a beautiful city and I couldn’t handle being in such a large city for an extended period of time, never mind living there. Beijing, and China in general, is still a developing place, but its overpopulation does not make it attractive for me. For visiting for a short period of time, it gets a thumbs up. For visiting for an extended period, or living there, it gets a boo. If you go, make sure you hit the Forbidden City and Palace Museum, go to the Summer Palace, sample Peking Duck, and climb the Great Wall. Everything else is just gravy.


December 28-29, 2005



We were on the train for a day and it was alright, though it had some trying episodes. Firstly, le train n’etait trop propre. To the naked eye, the sheets looked cleaned enough (though I had the presence of mind to bring along a long piece of fabric to cover the bed, just in case), but we learned that cleaning the bed wear is optional. This was demonstrated when the train stewardess (?) proceeded to clean our room, while we were still in it, by shaking out the previously used blankets and returning them back on the beds. Shudder squared. I’ve taken sleepers in Canada, Ghana and now China, and there really is no place like home.

Another huge minus was the train service staff. Apparently, customer service is not big in China (this was demonstrated not just on the train, but the train experience was the worst). We were ignored, and when we demanded attention, we were treated like stupid cattle but a chain smoking, careless group of riffraff. Makes you wonder what the interview process was like. Actually, makes you wonder if there even was an interview process. Here’s an excerpt from my journal:

“…The onboard service is nothing short of rude and disgraceful. I’ve had wonderful service by people who truly loved their professions and then indifferent service from people who were there for the money. But it’s just awful here. They shit on us for ordering something extra, or they simply tell us there is no more (how can there be no more freakin water???), or they say the waitress is sleeping. I actually fucking hate it here and wish to god we stocked up on proper food before boarding…”

Ah well, it’s over now. Water under the bridge and such. And hell, it was a lot better than the open hard sleepers. I’m sweating just thinking about them.

The positive thing about the train ride was that it gave me time to stretch out and relax after nearly two non-stop weeks. I finished Ishiguro’s Remains of the Day, which was excellent and I highly recommend it. I got to put pen to paper and list my goals for the next 4 years, and let me tell you, it’s pretty exciting stuff. It’s still too early to share, but trust me on this one. I also listed the places I hope to visit during my tenure here. It was just really good to move my ideas from abstract to more or less concrete.

Here goes...

So, because I was unable to update my blog while on "vacation", I'm going to summarize my trip to China over the next few entries. I hope you enjoy this succinct presentation and the photos. Let me know what you think.

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December 24, 2005

Today’s menu:

Tian An Men Square














The Palace Museum
The Forbidden City


Vegetarian Restaurant

Jingshan Park
Beijing Museum of Natural History

Qianmen Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant

Today’s highlights: Eating world famous Peking Duck at a restaurant frequented by such illustrious historical figures such as Castro, Bush Sr.; exploring the sprawling Forbidden City with our very helpful guide, Hu Chunlin.

Lowlights: Getting up assed early to stand in the freezing cold to watch the flag ceremony in the Square, along with hundreds of other suckers; encountering the man with no eyes in the City.

December 25, 2005

Today’s menu:

Great Wall of China: Badaling Area




Ming Tombs

Highlights: Climbing the Wall without suffering a heart attack and getting my certificate of completion when I reached the top; calling home on Christmas Day to say “yeah, I’m going to climb the Great Wall now, what are you up to?” and hearing my sister say “aww man, I’m going to Sharon’s”.

Lowlights: Teresa feeling like shite the whole day (though she was a starr and climbed most of the wall), missing the craziness of xmas day in the Narh household.

December 26, 2005

Today’s menu:

Summer Palace
Yuan Ming Yuan Park
Beijing Railway Station to buy train tickets
Pizza Hut

Highlights: Visiting the Summer Palace was amazing (see excerpt from travel journal below); finding the pizza hut and taking it back to the hotel where we feasted on it on Mel’s towel.

Lowlights: Going to the railway station (see excerpt from journal below); having our last day with our fab guide, Hu Chunlin.

Today was a bittersweet day. We had our last day with Hu Chunlin and visited one of the most beautiful sites I’ve ever seen. We started the day by visiting the Summer Palace, and even in its winter squalor, it was still magnificent. The bridges, the barren trees, the temples and pagodas – all of it was stunning. I am beginning to clearly see the marked differences between Japan and China, well, from what I’ve seen anyway. Chinese architecture and cultural artifacts are much more colourful and loud, while Japan is more monochromatic and subdued, like the food. While Japanese culture is stunningly beautiful in its subtlety and quiet calmness (to me), China is more stimulating for the visual, audile and olfactory senses.

Strollling on the grounds of the Summer Palace, which was not completely devoid of pushy merchants, was the most peaceful thing I’ve encountered since landing here. Especially promenading with Hu Chunlin. He was so shy and accommodating and sweet. It almost burns my eyes to think of him for reasons I will explain shortly.

After walking around for 3 hours (the area was immense), we stopped for lunch, which as usual became a long winded, somewhat frustrating affair. But when our food finally came, it was exquisite. I had fried pork and Chinese vegetables which were seasoned to perfection. I ate almost everything (without rice).

After begrudgingly removing ourselves from the toasty restaurant, we drove to Yuan Ming Yuan Park which was all but totally bombed out during the Second Opium War by French-English Allied Forces. It was quite sad actually, but the walk after the large meal was refreshing.

With the end of a large cultural day, we had to think about dinner again. We suddenly got a hankering for pizza and wine, and with the help our trusty guide, we got both and more. We went to a sexy “supermarket”, which actually turned out to be more of a department store and stocked up on sweets and food for the train ride. Oh, before that, we went to the Beijing Railway Station to pick up our train tickets for our trip from Beijing to Hong Kong. This station was a fucking zoo with the crush of humanity surrounding us. If we didn’t have Hu Chunlin, all would have been lost. Just complete madness.

Anyway, we found our pizza, our wine and something to look forward to. We also knew it would be the last time seeing HCL so we decided to put together some $$ to thank him for all of his hard work. BAD IDEA. He was so embarrassed and immediately returned the money after much protest. We didn’t want to insult him at all, just thank him, but he refused to take it. I actually started crying because of his sweet heart. I ached at his humility. I feel hopeful for mine. God, is it possible to fall in love with a person’s spirit after such a short period of time? His moral fabric and his soft demeanor, at least from the very limited part I’ve seen, makes me want to be more in my own life. People touch you in the most unexpected ways. It makes me want to love more and worry less – put everything in God’s hands and just let go. So much beauty in a short period of time. Blessed am I.

To be continued...

Back in the 'fu...

It's good to be home. After 2 weeks away in China (Beijing, Hong Kong, Shanghai), I'm happy to be in my cold assed apartment in my sweet assed village. I was glad to be around my younger kids today who asked me why my hair was so different (I took out my braids and I look like an upper class crack whore), were mesmerized by my new jewelry from China and Thailand, and were just their usual happy, gorgeous selves.

There is so much to tell and show about China, and I will do my best to adequately explain my journeys (read: lifting from the pages of my travel journal), but you're going to have to be a tad patient. I feel exhausted and I'll be turning in in about an hour (8:30 p.m.) Stay tuned here for more updates. In the meantime, peep these pix I took when I got back into Japan: